These past few days have been very, very difficult. I've felt a kind of meltdown, or I don't know exactly what to call it, but I've literally found myself unable to sit in front of the computer and draw, and when I do, I can't draw anything; it's horrible and exhausting. It's been hard for me to leave the house, and although I've been in therapy for a couple of months now for my autism, every day I'm discovering new things about myself that are explained by this condition.

My food problem returned after I went back to the nutritionist. I can't stick to my diet because I'm always hungry, and my own depression keeps me from having the energy to get out of bed some days and prepare the meals I need to eat. I also feel a lot of guilt when I'm eating, which makes me skip meals, ending up with hypoglycemia more often than usual (I'm diabetic).

After many months, Paté had a urinary blockage again and without a vet because it was late at night, the stress I felt was so big, that I fell back into self-harm, because I feel I can't leave my baby to suffer alone. Fortunately, the next day when I took him first thing in the morning to the vet, the urethra was unblocked and he was able to urinate normally again. He is a chronic cat and I know these episodes will occur again from time to time. Only now I had to buy a medical-grade kibble for him and that added another expense to everything I have on my mind lately. The good thing is that it will only be for three months.

I don't know what else I could say, but I just got around to drawing a little bit again today. And I really needed to, because it's the end of the month and, well, the bills can't wait. I think I could offer simpler commissions to gradually get back into drawing again, I don't know yet.