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8 months ago
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***** PLEASE, PLEASE GO CHECK MY SCRAPS! *****
It is for all my WORKS IN PROGRESS, GIFTS, and stuff I am just banging off as practice, as well as photos, and art from others.
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~ BEGIN ~ I uploaded a bunch of stuff... i had a bit more I could upload, but maybe at another time.
I am tired... so very tired. Exhausted really.
I want to draw more, but i feel like there is just so little left in me, that I just can't get it out. Like, the last bit of toothpaste left in the tube.
The past while. i have been in a very dark place. I am not sure if this is part of turning 50... or because of dealing with Mom going into Long Term Care... or that for over a decade I have been taking care of the elderly and dying of the family while dodging attack from family members... or being told by those who could help cover me that they would.. only to have that coverage removed... or the fact that I just can't get a full restful sleep any more.
I honestly feel used up and have been questioning what is the point.. is there any hope left?
I don't know.. but i have not given up yet. I have spent some of my VERY limited funds and got myself new old stock mid-range phone, and I am using that to go for walks, following routes around here on Pokemon Go. (i finally have a modest amount of data). Going out for the walk, rain or shine, helps me know if I am feeling tired from fatigue or depression.. Fatigue means I barely get anywhere... i can usually outwalk my depression.
The despair is real, and it is why when people have spotted me on line I am not doing much. I am sorry if I have ever blown anyone off trying to contact me. When I get into my dark place, i often become crippled or lethargic or just too tired to move. But I am working on it... this is just going to take a lot longer than i thought it would.
Please bear with me a little longer... I know some of you have been asking about commissions, and I am hoping to open them up this month on a limited bases. (I could use the money too, I am bleeding my life saving to stay afloat).
=^.,.^=
I am tired... so very tired. Exhausted really.
I want to draw more, but i feel like there is just so little left in me, that I just can't get it out. Like, the last bit of toothpaste left in the tube.
The past while. i have been in a very dark place. I am not sure if this is part of turning 50... or because of dealing with Mom going into Long Term Care... or that for over a decade I have been taking care of the elderly and dying of the family while dodging attack from family members... or being told by those who could help cover me that they would.. only to have that coverage removed... or the fact that I just can't get a full restful sleep any more.
i am also clinically obese.I honestly feel used up and have been questioning what is the point.. is there any hope left?
I don't know.. but i have not given up yet. I have spent some of my VERY limited funds and got myself new old stock mid-range phone, and I am using that to go for walks, following routes around here on Pokemon Go. (i finally have a modest amount of data). Going out for the walk, rain or shine, helps me know if I am feeling tired from fatigue or depression.. Fatigue means I barely get anywhere... i can usually outwalk my depression.
The despair is real, and it is why when people have spotted me on line I am not doing much. I am sorry if I have ever blown anyone off trying to contact me. When I get into my dark place, i often become crippled or lethargic or just too tired to move. But I am working on it... this is just going to take a lot longer than i thought it would.
Please bear with me a little longer... I know some of you have been asking about commissions, and I am hoping to open them up this month on a limited bases. (I could use the money too, I am bleeding my life saving to stay afloat).
=^.,.^=
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