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The weight of my situation🌧️
4 months ago
This is going to be vague, so bare with me. (Bare? Bear? Which is it? Idc)
Making this journal to address stuff I've been going through for the past 2 months. And some other stuff that's been affecting me for the past 5 months.
To start off, I apologize for the lack of art on my end.From patreon, furaffinity, and other places. I haven't been feeling that well about my art for a while. I was actively trying to improve my skills and speed. I was making amazing progress and feeling up for any art task. But it quickly got halted 2 months ago.
My family suckered me into doing something that I didn't want to do. For the sake of the family and family business. In hindsight it was the dumbest mistake I could've made. Biggest blunder of my life. I've always wanted a life of my own, and to be independent from them. But now I'm wearing shackles and chains the size of the world and it's getting very hard to breath and find myself.
Now that I want to get out, I can't. I need help getting assistance or helping hands, but I don't have the right system to do so. I'm understaffed, overworked, and burnt out.
A series of minor mistakes have collectively added up to a financial time bomb that I need to wipe my hands clean of.
I've been feeling like a gigantic failure as a person and an artist. I am worn out mentally and socially, and I'm starting get worn out physically. Essentially leaving me with no energy to do anything, not even the things I enjoy. Not even the people I like to talk to
I'm okay, for now. But I don't think I'm coming out of this the same person I used to be.
If I do get out, I'm gathering my things and bouncing from my family. They are willing to leave me out here fending for myself against a pack of wolves while carrying the burden of running a business alone. Selfish, but whatever, I don't care anymore.
(I'm going to keep my patreon and kofi open because it's my only consistent source of independent income that I have besides commissions. Which I have significantly less time for.)
Making this journal to address stuff I've been going through for the past 2 months. And some other stuff that's been affecting me for the past 5 months.
To start off, I apologize for the lack of art on my end.From patreon, furaffinity, and other places. I haven't been feeling that well about my art for a while. I was actively trying to improve my skills and speed. I was making amazing progress and feeling up for any art task. But it quickly got halted 2 months ago.
My family suckered me into doing something that I didn't want to do. For the sake of the family and family business. In hindsight it was the dumbest mistake I could've made. Biggest blunder of my life. I've always wanted a life of my own, and to be independent from them. But now I'm wearing shackles and chains the size of the world and it's getting very hard to breath and find myself.
Now that I want to get out, I can't. I need help getting assistance or helping hands, but I don't have the right system to do so. I'm understaffed, overworked, and burnt out.
A series of minor mistakes have collectively added up to a financial time bomb that I need to wipe my hands clean of.
I've been feeling like a gigantic failure as a person and an artist. I am worn out mentally and socially, and I'm starting get worn out physically. Essentially leaving me with no energy to do anything, not even the things I enjoy. Not even the people I like to talk to
I'm okay, for now. But I don't think I'm coming out of this the same person I used to be.
If I do get out, I'm gathering my things and bouncing from my family. They are willing to leave me out here fending for myself against a pack of wolves while carrying the burden of running a business alone. Selfish, but whatever, I don't care anymore.
(I'm going to keep my patreon and kofi open because it's my only consistent source of independent income that I have besides commissions. Which I have significantly less time for.)
Do take care of yourself!
Idk if you can actually get a holiday away from them
Sadly have to stay with my family, I can’t stay with my former lovers also economy is very bad and not easily sustainable and it’s been like this for over a decade and it gets worse since more and more losing jobs due to cheap skate jerks.
Not gonna mention all the chaotic crap on weighing down on me, but I’m gonna travel later to get some new sights and perspectives on life.
I really hope you can break free
I’m always helping others all the time and it’s hurting me when I don’t get a big break.
I know what it's like to feel stuck helping family. Good luck on your life changes.