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I am so close to just giving up.
3 months ago
Weekend after weekend after weekend of streams failing. Barely scraping by. Always struggling to pay bills and keep up with expenses and costs. Every week a struggle just to make it to the next week.... for an entire fucking year.
Life is hell. And I am so burned out I just want to lay down, go to sleep, and never wake up. I just want this shit to be over. I don't want to struggle and stress out constantly anymore.
My health is plummeting, both mental and physical. I am exhausted, existentially exhausted.
What am I doing wrong? Why does nobody care about my streams anymore? Is my art getting worse? I'm losing more confidence by the week, and its making it SO much harder to get any artwork done. I've been trying to start on my queue for two weeks, but every art piece I do I hate. I start, look at it, realize that no artist in their right mind would hand over something so gross, and can't continue.
Even simple things are too much for me.
I'm so damn tired.
Life is hell. And I am so burned out I just want to lay down, go to sleep, and never wake up. I just want this shit to be over. I don't want to struggle and stress out constantly anymore.
My health is plummeting, both mental and physical. I am exhausted, existentially exhausted.
What am I doing wrong? Why does nobody care about my streams anymore? Is my art getting worse? I'm losing more confidence by the week, and its making it SO much harder to get any artwork done. I've been trying to start on my queue for two weeks, but every art piece I do I hate. I start, look at it, realize that no artist in their right mind would hand over something so gross, and can't continue.
Even simple things are too much for me.
I'm so damn tired.
Time is, unfortunately, not a luxury I have. Art trades would just stack more on my plate than I already have. Streams are so I have money through the week so I don't have to stress while working on my queue, but streams have been failing constantly meaning I am stressed and on edge and hungry all week to boot.
... and I don't even get the one silver lining of eating significantly less because my thyroid is fucked so I can STILL gain weight on one small meal a day. xD
Im sure you are will be okay, bc now im okay, and you will be okay. You can vent to me if you want, ill listen you.