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✧ Captain’s Log — Personal Entry ✧
2 months ago
✧ Captain’s Log — Personal Entry ✧
Stardate 94133.8
Location: Arboretum Observation Alcove, Deck 5
Status: Off-duty
Tea: Cooled peppermint & honey, half-sipped
Subject: Questions I Am Currently Not Equipped to Answer
1. What is an “ArtFight?”
From what I’ve gathered, it appears to be some sort of… creative battle? But also gentle? And full of characters drawn out of love and spite at the same time?
Are there teams? Alliances? Casualties?
Is this like the Andorian Snow Games but with sketchpads and emotional vulnerability?
Is this… how artists flirt?
If so, that leads me directly to my next inquiry—
2. How does one find an artist girlfriend?
I have consulted no fewer than three science officers, one counselor, and a malfunctioning holosuite romance program.
The answers range from:
➤ “Attend more local gallery showings.”
➤ “Offer her tea and ask about line weight.”
➤ “Just sit still and hope she draws you.”
I have done all of these.
No artist girlfriend has yet materialized.
If anyone has a replicator setting for one, please forward it to my Ready Room.
I would care for her softly. I would press leaves into her sketchbook and learn her favorite shade of gray.
3. How does one find a Trekkie girlfriend?
One would think… being an actual Starfleet Captain would suffice.
It does not.
Apparently, one must also be able to quote original series dialogue at will, debate uniform aesthetics by era, and survive in the wilds of fandom discourse with only a tricorder and a sense of decorum.
I can do all of these things.
Where is she?
The one who says “tea, Earl Grey—wait, you’re actually drinking that?”
The one who knows which episodes make her cry.
The one who wants to hold hands on the holodeck and argue lovingly about warp core protocol.
Starfleet does not train you for this kind of mission.
And yet, here I am… hopeful. Curious. Ridiculously gay.
Captain Fawnbrook, out.
