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Hi all, Im alive. (all the things ive been up to + new me.)
16 years ago
General
i just got... lost in translation... well at least my FA did...
If ur wondering translation of what, well that would be my soul.... I seem to have gone through some pretty erratic changes in the last 2 months... and well... i can't say their not or the worst of the better... all i know is... here's whats happened...
1. about a week after my last post i about killed myself. (no one found out)
2. I found out my sister cares more about her precious sleep then my life.
3. Just about killed myself again...
4. almost relapsed on cutting.
5. hatted my self/ world.
6. figured the world hatted me.
7. made friends.
8. got straight for the first time since 4th grade
9. made friends in the real world. in school. roughly 3.
10. joined the basketball team.
11. got the flu. twice, and a cold.
12. quit the basketball team.
13. found out i was on the honor roll.
14. told my family, they just about shit themselves.
15. Finally realized that i needed to give up art and music and get my head on straight...
16. realized i needed art to live like a vampire needs blood.
17. Realized i needed to start reading my life away again, so am looking into the local library, but i have a feeling i should donate my own private collection... if i could... if only i hadn't stole all about... oh.... 40 books or so from my last two high schools.... (there for they are all marked... X.X)
18. Finally grasped that in 1 year, 1 week, and 3 days i WILL be 18. I WILL be an adult. And i WILL be accountable for my actions. Also realized this means i have that + roughly 4 and some change, mo. to figure out What force i want to join, and if i CAN. ( i need to lose weight first. i fucking HATE being so Disgustingly fat hat even my own body is against me. I'm "Perfectly healthy, even at my weight" THAT is a fucking lie. and every doctor who's ever uttered it knows it.
19. i started learning how to dive... now if only i could go over 50 w/o freaking out we'd be in business ( i live surrounded by roads that the speed limit is oh... 75.... gotta love highways full of Semis....) Right now i'm driving on old roads in the middle of nowhere CO, so... FUN! -.- not.
20. i've come to grasp that i'm going to be 17 on Jan. 8th and thats not a bad things. in fact it's a very good thing. I'm going to be 17, and i'm going to looses all the weight, i'm going to keep up my grades, i'm going to join the Navy or the Air Force, an then i'm going to come out 4 years later and go to college over in washington D.C somewhere idc where as long as it offers Forensic Sciences and Criminology, then i am going to try and be an FBI Lab gremlin or a CSI and i am going to live out my dream.
If ur wondering translation of what, well that would be my soul.... I seem to have gone through some pretty erratic changes in the last 2 months... and well... i can't say their not or the worst of the better... all i know is... here's whats happened...
1. about a week after my last post i about killed myself. (no one found out)
2. I found out my sister cares more about her precious sleep then my life.
3. Just about killed myself again...
4. almost relapsed on cutting.
5. hatted my self/ world.
6. figured the world hatted me.
7. made friends.
8. got straight for the first time since 4th grade
9. made friends in the real world. in school. roughly 3.
10. joined the basketball team.
11. got the flu. twice, and a cold.
12. quit the basketball team.
13. found out i was on the honor roll.
14. told my family, they just about shit themselves.
15. Finally realized that i needed to give up art and music and get my head on straight...
16. realized i needed art to live like a vampire needs blood.
17. Realized i needed to start reading my life away again, so am looking into the local library, but i have a feeling i should donate my own private collection... if i could... if only i hadn't stole all about... oh.... 40 books or so from my last two high schools.... (there for they are all marked... X.X)
18. Finally grasped that in 1 year, 1 week, and 3 days i WILL be 18. I WILL be an adult. And i WILL be accountable for my actions. Also realized this means i have that + roughly 4 and some change, mo. to figure out What force i want to join, and if i CAN. ( i need to lose weight first. i fucking HATE being so Disgustingly fat hat even my own body is against me. I'm "Perfectly healthy, even at my weight" THAT is a fucking lie. and every doctor who's ever uttered it knows it.
19. i started learning how to dive... now if only i could go over 50 w/o freaking out we'd be in business ( i live surrounded by roads that the speed limit is oh... 75.... gotta love highways full of Semis....) Right now i'm driving on old roads in the middle of nowhere CO, so... FUN! -.- not.
20. i've come to grasp that i'm going to be 17 on Jan. 8th and thats not a bad things. in fact it's a very good thing. I'm going to be 17, and i'm going to looses all the weight, i'm going to keep up my grades, i'm going to join the Navy or the Air Force, an then i'm going to come out 4 years later and go to college over in washington D.C somewhere idc where as long as it offers Forensic Sciences and Criminology, then i am going to try and be an FBI Lab gremlin or a CSI and i am going to live out my dream.
