Just make some more vent because I need to get this out.

Lately I feel like everyone's expecting me to be there to help them...
Just a month ago; I was at the hospital due to my stress (I stopped to breath due to a big panic attack and I was lucky to not get any brain damage)
and my doctor told me to slow down but I can't.

Everyone's telling me to slow down but I can't; rent and grocery still need to be paid.
I'm already stressing out because of how my selling are doing badly; my boyfriend is trying his best to help me.
He's telling me to at least manage to get the minimum to pay my part of the rent and all.
But... Well it's a lot and I hate to vent since I know the situation is not easy for everyone. I know I'm not alone.

And when I'm trying to do things for myself; there's always someone calling me for my help.
You have a broken heart? A bad day? You want advice? You are freaking out and crying? You need someone to help you? All theses peoples are calling me and I'm the now you need to take care of all of this.
I feel like everyone's caretaker and it's only my fault; I'm the one who once offered help but... I'm feeling like no ones taking care of me.
I would like a break but I can't...

And such a bitter feeling when you refuse to help and then; you are the selfish one.
Or just last day... That story just made me so mad... This is mostly why I'm feeling like this now.


The story;

My brother have two kids (8&6 years old) and the mom (Separated from my brother) didn't wanted to have them this weekend; she lied to my brother and told him that I was to take the kids this weekend, starting thursday night. She never asked me...

So yeah... My brother arrived last night with his two kids and learned that; no. I never accepted to take the kids for a whole weekend!
And then; the mother decided to NOT respond to her phone and my brother was in a bad spot because he had to work the day after and needed someone to keep the kids.

So... Yay I ended up with the two kids and damn; my brother was feeling so horrible and mad against his ex. (I also got mad at him for not calling me to confirm if I was to take the kids or not... His mistake.)
It was not the first time his ex do that; she often lie to not have the kids on her weekends because she want to see her new boyfriend...

I still have the kids and my brother shall come taking them after work; he told me that he wouldn't dare making me take them for a whole weekend if it wasn't planned.
Just suck because my brother is again cancelling his plan because of his ex's lies ;(
And sad for the kids; they were sure they were to have a whole weekend with me but... I had other plan as my boyfriend have buy tickets for a show on saturday night for our 10 years anniversary; I feel like my ex- sister in law wanted to try ruining my weekend...

I'm just so tired...
And I'm trying to keep a smile for the kids who are just sad because they are ruining their father weekend; sad because they were sure to have a weekend with their aunt... Sad because their mother lied to them, me and their father.

And during that moment; I can't fully work on anything because the kids wants my attention and I do understand. They are kids; it,s sunny and hot outside and want to be outside. So I have havto scrap all my plan for today to be with them. Just glad I managed to finish everything I needed to do...

Anyway this was my vent... Now going to prepare a day at the water park next to my home; need to make some sandwich...