2009 was a year of ups and down, plenty of both, looking back on it.

2009 seemed to start out for me like most others in Canada. I celebrated New Years with my friends in RL and had a lot of fun. I did enjoy my freedom from school during the Winter Break while I could. Then, on the 3rd of January, I ventured back to Ottawa, where I was enrolled in a really good animation program. I was enjoying making layouts and learning some new things, but I did not learn enough.

Things seemed to be going well at first, despite the Ottawa bus strike which started in late December 2008 that seeped into the New Year. When I came back, I was ignorantly thinking that the bus strike would end pretty soon. My social life, due to being in the animation program, was almost non-existent and that was aided by the bus strike. By ‘March break’ (technically in February but it was dubbed march break anyways), I went back to Toronto. Being able to at least go out and hang out, along side doing homework, I was happy. When the break was over, things really began to ramp up in school; I had completed my assignments and soon some doubt began to play in my mind—about becoming an animator.

As the bus strike was still going on, I was starting to develop cabin fever: possibly one of the most “FUN” experiences I have ever experienced in my life. Being in animation, I was working my ass off so I can keep up with everyone else because I was realizing I was drawing to slowly and was struggling to stay ahead. Therefore, I stopped taking breaks. I was soon starting to get depressed because everyone on the college campus residence seemed to be having fun between homework and their social lives; mine essentially became non-existent.

During this time, I was talking to  gunuse about how I was starting to feel my art was crap, and how I had no life. I thought my art was crap, because everyone in my class was getting way better then me, and I couldn’t keep up.  gunuse tried to cheer me up during those times and that did help me a bit. But my cabin fever was really hitting me hard at the time.

Also towards early March Ottawa had a cold snap where the temperature was around -30ºC (-22 ºF.) with the wind chill feeling like -42ºC (-43.6 ºF.) The residence building, which I was living in, had its fire alarm pulled twice due to one person in partying with a large group of drunks. So I had to stand outside for a few hours in the cold at 2 in the morning; the second alarm was triggered at 6am. It really peeved off anyone who was trying to sleep, and I was very annoyed and angry at the time.

As the year was wrapping up I officially decided that I wanted to get into Illustration, because I had it with being in animation; I felt that animation was not for me. Also I was getting so depressed of not doing any of my own work at the time. When I did try to draw, I felt that what ever I drew was crap. Not to mention, my art style seemed to resemble something Disney-like at the time and that bugged the hell out of me; it still does today. During the last week of school, I gave up on most of my courses due to my depression.

After school I came back home to Toronto, and I felt fortunate to be back because I had a social life again. Also, I got to SLEEP! I really got myself indulged into that kind of life again; I missed it a lot. But, I was quickly reminded that I needed to search for a job, which was a pain because there was very little in the job market at the time.

During this time, I was still recovering from being in animation and drawing at the time never felt right, because I wanted to draw in a more realistic style. Therefore I tried to draw less animated in style, because I wanted to improve and nothing seemed good enough. I basically didn’t draw for a few weeks because of it. Eventually, I had a phone call meeting with my animation professors back in Ottawa; we talked for a while and they said everything I had expected from them. They felt that animation was not for me, and I agreed with them. What I didn’t know was that I happened to be one of the weakest artists that they had chosen to be accepted in the program; and they thought, with some training, I would progress fast enough to become an animator. However, by the end of that call, I remained solid in my desire to become an illustrator.

In June, I finally decided to post work on FA again because I had gained some motivation to return to artwork. I was taking a summer life drawing course at the time, which was suggested to me by my old professors. It was worth the time, because I did improve a little by then and was also a great confidence booster. I was done feeling depressed about not being in animation. To add to that, I got a job as an assistant lawyer, and that helped boost my self esteem even further.

By July, I really got inspired by the artist “Idrawgirls” by watching his speed paintings. Thus I began to speed paint and, with the assistance of my new Wacom Intuos4, made it a whole lot of fun to do.

As the summer came and went, I was doing a lot of artwork and I felt better at what I was doing with my life. Yet, I was surprised when my Mr.Patches speed painting reached beyond 100 in its view count on FA. I first took it as a joke. I told  thecaptainfoxx how odd this was, and he told me that I will get used to it. But why was that odd? Because I was stilling thinking that my art was still kind of crappy, not even decent at best. Later on, though, I did get used to it, and I am very thankful for the views I have gotten, faves, and comments for every piece of artwork since.

As time progressed, more artwork was made, and I fully enjoyed doing what I was doing again. Mainly because I was not just constantly drawing, I was painting too! Later on I was noted by my summer course professor that my style has improved a lot, which at first I thought it was a joke. Later on, I found it to be fact.

Outside of art, I had gotten back into gaming, and I also began to become more social. I met some more interesting people in RL and online. I feel very fortunate to have become friends with many different people this past year and I do care for every one of them. ^^

With the summer break over, school started once again and I was very excited, mainly because I was now a general arts major with an emphasis in the visual arts. I wanted to be in it to ensure that I want to get into Illustration.

I did some more artwork that I felt was worth posting on FA. Compared to animation, I feel like I am actually learning the theory behind art more than I would have if I remained in animation. I feel I have a great freedom in the use of creativity in my schoolwork and I can keep my own style which is great. At the end of the semester I essentially lost the last week of school due to the college’s budget cuts. So I was really putting my ass into gear making sure that I would pass the semester. And I did very well as it turns out.

As the end of the year is slowly creeping upon us, 2010 is looking to be a great year. I am thankful that I am no longer in animation, and I am hoping to become an Illustrator when I get into another college program. From periods of feeling bad to worse, finally, things turned out for the better. I do thank all of those who watch me, for all comments, favorites, the views which I have slowly gained over time and the friends I have made. I do feel very fortunate to know you and thank you all for your help. I just hope next year in 2010 will be a better one for myself and for all. ^^