WARNING : *LONG*

July 25!

Morning! Stuff packed. Do my usuals, make final checks, charge phone. Time comes, I go. Bus go brr. Transfer bus go brr. Bus to airport no go brr because "roadworks" (Embezzlement) , ok. Use taxi. Sucks but nice taxi. 2 pounds vs 24.50 (ow). Once there, wait. And wait. And wait. Oh look a DELAY, how nice!

Summary : Depart at 11:30 AM UK time, arrive at the hotel in Málaga from the taxi there at 1:27 AM (Which is 0:27 AM UK time, just after midnight). Travel LONG D=

July 26!

We wake up, mess around a bit, shower and head out to explore Málaga. Grabbing some breakfast and then exploring further, we spend about 2 hours walking around actively as we check stuff out, then we return for a few hours to break. I got a little hat against the sun, which became my only souvenir from Spain (Plus a gift from the boyo I went to meet, but that is a consumable!)
Until approx 18:45, we talked, rested, messed around a bit more, then left to catch our pre-booked massage appointment! It was a "couples massage" - they call it that :-P. We just liked that it was cheaper and we each wanted one. It was an HOUR of floral\fruit scented total pamperping and relaxation and was a shining star in the trip. I ADORED it and left a 5* review for the ladies doing it ;_; .Sublime.
After that, we went straight to the pre-booked restaurant place, wheeeeeere I got food poisoning.

Here, I had "Truffles omelet" with potatoes, ham and parmesan. This is my first meal and my prime suspect because apparently the truffles can do stomach stuff to people but? It was tasty and I loved it.
2nd was "Spanish style cracked eggs with fries and ham"
And finally a "Poyoyo" cheesecake. That's all the info I have on this, sorry (Pics later!)


We then went back to hotel 1 (that my cheapskate ass suggested) and went to sleep.

Summary : Wake up, mess around, explore and have fun, relax, massage, food, back home, relax into sleep, great time!

July 27 !

5:45 AM, I start to develop a very rapid feeling that I'm going to throw up.
No guesses for what happens next.

Okay, strange. Not great, but it's been years. So *shrug*. Can't actually drink anything until 7:40 when we find a vending machine because there was no tap for us to get water from (except the bathroom and that's...not great?) and no shops were open LOL. We had a tour planned to a wonderful place called Ronda (PLEASE LOOK UP IMAGES OF THIS PLACE, IT ROCKS!) and the Tour bus left at 8 from City hall, but we were there.
Surprise!
8:22, I threw up again. It was *just* the water that I drank 40 minutes ago.
Well, shit. I can't do the tour. Apologize to people, get off the bus at a gas station. Get a taxi called, friend buys me one of those glowing blue electrolyte sports drinks that should have helped.
Notice how I said "should have"?
Taxi takes 20 mins to arrive, we drive back for like 25-30 mins, and as we are slowly walking back to rest at the first hotel - yup. Third throw up of glowing blue liquids. It's at this point I definitively realize "Oh. Cool. I can't even keep down ANY LIQUID" which is um, very dangerous, especially in a high-heat country like Spain.

Luckily, I happened to have my third "moment" in front of a private hospital \ clinic thing. Not great, but I was not in a good shape by this point. Go in, insurance, ok, deposit, ok, ah yes likely stomach virus. Here are 2 prescriptions. But it was a sunday (naturally) so most pharmacies are closed. So we had to walk to where a 24\7 pharmacy was open and got....ONE of the medicines. it's a powder of stuff called Sueroral you dissolve in water and acts to help you with lost junk. The main thing would have been an anti-emetic to force my body to behave with fluids, but they didn't actually get that until six hours later, around 16:30.

So I follow my friend around for a while, uh increasingly bad and weak and eventually we make it to the hotel, I fall in there and I'm sick enough to have a 1 hour nap (If you know me, this is a huge deal), and just rest until he comes back from his lunch. Leaves to get my meds, comes back, I take it, very slowly and cautiously start taking some fluids.
Just before the tour, we decided that the hostel (Hotel 1) was um. Bad. And yes it was. I suggested to boy the idea of maybe upgrading, and he said he was thinking about doing just that too :-P. So before the tour bus, we booked Hotel 2; and once I had the anti-emetic and we waited an hour so I could have fluids and stuff, we got our stuff, gave them an excuse and left.

THAT WAS A GOOD DECISION. The first hotel room was small with not much in it but a bed - not much room for anything, a small and badly laid out bathroom with only ONE place for ONE Towel (Between 2 people) and slippery shower tiles. The new hotel? Air conditioning, a great view, comfortable beds, more space, less trapped heat. I'm certain it helped us both feel way better and was well worth doing.
Lesson for people wanting to travel : Genuinely get a "good" hotel for your stay. It will serve you so well.
So anyway, around 6 PM we transfer, I take a funny picture ("Try CSA") on the way there - and we generally lazy shit for the rest of the day. I don't feel great still but mildly better, fluids getting retained (Kind of).

Summary : Get sick, drink water, get sick, drink helpful fluids, get sick. Slammed with costs, barely move, big unwell, transfer hotels. For all that, this is all that happened today, honestly.

July 28th!

I felt a bit better in the morning, got better and more solid sleep than usual. New hotel rocks, bed comfy. We cautiously leave around 9:35 to explore the new area of the new hotel and find a little diner for my friend to have coffee. After about 20 mins I decide okay, I'll try *a slice of toast* with *butter*. WILD, but at this point, I have not eaten for literally 39-40 hours. It worked, it stayed down and X_X. I don't even like toast, but it tasted AMAZING. We go back, I introduce my friend to Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (Netflix, exists, 2 seasons because Netflix sucks. Check it out, it's incredible!) for a few episodes and then we downstairs to the lobby for the gastrobar for lunch. I have plain white rice with some carrot bits because ...stomach and stuff. I have to take the anti-emetic every 8 hours and keep a close eye on that ofc.

We have that, we go back up, we watch more Dirk Gently (since we can't do much in my state) and boy gets hooked :-P. We manage to kill most of Season 1 today. In between we chat, there are some things, teasing :->. I think that was the day boy shows me a pup mask he bought me to try. I did! There are pics! Most of you won't see them! I also squint like Clint fucking Eastwood as they are probably 1-2 sizes too small, but It felt nice and the boy was *really* impressed with how it made me look\ feel heheheh....

It was also an uncharacteristically high temperature day, so we decided we'd skip our plans, which included a visit to the Videogame Museum and the Imagination Museum given my state. shame, but not as much of a loss as Ronda the previous day ;_;.

Summary : Cautious, absolutely minimal food. Relax, good series, most of a bland but high quality rice bowl, more relax and series. Talking, teasing, bed.

July 29 !

Feeling almost regular! still WEIRD and off, but mostly fine! Today was the pre-booked tour of a fascinating fort (lower level), living area (middle level) and Palace (top level) place called Alcazaba! I have many pictures of this and I loved it! We woke up, taxi to the city center area it was at. I got 2 bananas and water to drink and extra water for during the tour, which ended up running 2 hours. The water just lasted long enough, then we ran into a place called "El pimpi" nearby - it's apparently a cellar underneath a building owned by ACTUAL ANTONIO FUCKING BANDERAS who was born in Málaga! I had a tiny adorable ham sandwich there with more water, but it worked well enough for me! After that we wanted to see what we could get up to but it was weirdly, offensively hot so after wandering around a bit and letting the boy go into a place to get items, we went back to the hotel to hide from the heat.

The AC was a godsend lol. Blasted through the rest of Season 1 of Dirk Gently, and part of season 2, talked, etc etc etc. I was down to do more in theory during the actual tour part, but by the time we got out the sun really did get like, nasty and rough. Best to be safe; for a Spanish person, my friend did not do well with the increased heat :-P. To be fair, Málaga is next to the ocean so it was humid bitch heat. Which is atrocious.

Summary : FORT TOUR HOLY SHIT YAY! Feeling better finally, fluid control is mostly normal now, then back to watch some series episodes and stuff!

July 30 !

Boy is homesick and we agreed earlier he'd leave at 4 PM to go home before my own travel back time ;_;. We go out for coffee (him) and food (me) at a nearby café with hard working employees but UTTERLY ghastly decor :-P. I end up having 2 ham-cheese-butter sandwiches, one of which is a takeaway and that was super nice. The pure orange juice there was INCREDIBLE. I haven't had good orange juice in ages and that was definitely "it".
We go back, run through the remainder of Dirk Gently while chatting and taking breaks, light teasing, etc.
Boy cleans, boy preps, 4 PM. Boy leaves ;_;.

Return to hotel room, actually proceed to tear up for a good four hours because my brain swapped from "Friend! Fun! Exploration!" mode to "Back to your life" mode, back to my whole in danger situation, back to feeling extremely alone, etc etc etc.
Try and succeed to watch John Oliver videos to cheer myself up enough to get to sleep around 23:30.
Sleep sucked! Comfy bed but broken and unreliable and weird ;_;.

Summary : Light day. Wake up, food, series, chats. Boyo gone D=. Big lonely. Many sad ;_;.

July 31 !

Traveling home, I clean up my stuff, get it all, charged phone - and get into a taxi at 8:15. Arrive at the airport about 8:35. My flight didn't start letting people check in until 9:15, so I mull around. I take FORTY MINUTES to clear the line despite 3 desks (They were very slow FSR). My turn. The lady there looks at my Hungarian passport, UK travel destination and then repeatedly ignores that I *live* there, to tell me that I need an "ETA" - another bullshit thing that the UK insists people visiting fill out because everyone is a filthy immigrant (To them).
I said I don't have any proof on me, I've lived there for 13 years.
No no I need proof. *Groan* Go, find her boss in a help kiosk, explain the situation. They look lost. They call her, and end up telling her to "Just let me through".
Cool idea. Except they fucked up trying to cover their ass and put my luggage through to Amsterdam (connecting airport, NOT final destination of Exeter), so I'd have to leave the transfer area, walk to where it was, find it, RE-CHECK IT, go through Security *again* and run through the airport to very barely catch my flight.
I bought KLM Tickets. They passed me off to Transavia for this exact part. The fuckup was entirely Transavia's, as far as I can understand. Now, had I missed my flight, I'd need to go get a hotel room (60+ euros) in Amsterdam for the night and a new ticket (100+) euros, both very conservative estimates.

Also, it was a 3 hour flight from Málaga to Amsterdam. During that flight, i got offered no drinks and no food, because I could *buy* food and water, aaahhh...except in aviation, it's common courtesty to offer something for a flight lasting 3 hours. Most do a sandwich, some do water and peanuts or something. These guys? Fuck you bitch.
Oh and after the pay cart for food left, they brought out an HONEST TO GOODNESS SHOPPING CART with trashy AF looking stuff on it. Towels, sunglasses, JEWELRY. Aw yeah, do you want to buy JEWELRY from an AIRPLANE? These guys are shitty, selfish, gross and moneygrubby AF. First and only time I will fly with these cunts.

Anyway.
In Amsterdam with some help I made it. 10 min walk to the belt, actually 25 minute wait while the stuff from our plane finally showed up and I could collect my luggage. Ran to info, info said go to better info for my airline. Did, they let the plane now to wait a tiny bit, rushed me through check-in. I had to run a fair distance to security, go through THAT, find the (misprinted, but I could tell) gate on the ticket, RUN to the fucking gate. I was all kinds of things. Shiny from sweat, suffering, aching, boiling in my own sweat and just feeling *absolutely not great* but I fucking caught it.

Regular home time from there. Left the hotel 8:15 AM (7:15 UK) and arrived home 8:52 PM (UK) , exhausted. no life left for a shower, so my gross body just slept D=.

Summary : Transavia is fucking dog shit.