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A need for a life partner.
4 weeks ago
Also known as a wife, but I wanted a title that was simple and to the point.
So I am 38 and single, and I do NOT wish to remain single for the rest of my life.
I will say this right off the bat, I do live with my parents and my current job is simply a dishwasher at a local restaurant. So no 6 figure income here.
So what am I looking for in a woman?
Well I am not really that picky, but I do have some main wants.
I like playing video games and would like if the woman enjoys video games as well. Now I am not the kind of gamer that plays ALL day, I usually just play for and hour or two and then stop and do something else. Sometimes more than once per day, but basically limited play time.
To me this is one of the more important things I am looking for. Watching someone play a game, or them watching me play a game, or even us taking turns playing the same game. I think this would likely bring me joy.
I also like doing jigsaw puzzles. Having done a jigsaw puzzle with my mother I realized how enjoyable it would be to do jigsaw puzzles with someone else. Kind of the same principle as laying videogames together, but this is even more so a together activity.
This isn't as necessary as video games, but something worth mentioning.
I do not smoke, I do not drink alcohol and I do not do drugs. I would strongly prefer if the woman did not do these things as well. This isn't something I see changing and suddenly start partaking in these things, so hopefully the woman would share this.
I am NOT wanting to marry for sex. I know that sounds silly, but I don't really see myself wanting to have sex a ton. Now we would have sex for the purpose of conceiving a child, but outside of that I am not requiring frequent sex.
I'm pretty introvert and not really one for traveling. That said as a couple I would not be against going on a vacation to places. Especially if marriage happened, a child or children happen, vacations with them would be nice. As a child my parents would take my sisters and me to Six Flags once every summer. This would be something fun to recreate with the child/children we have.
Now I know posting a journal won't magically make someone send me a note and we hit it off well. But I suppose a main reason to post this is to ask how I can find someone like this? I am introverted as previously mentioned. I have been to a few conventions so I am not against doing such things, but being 38 it's hard to find someone in my age bracket. 30-40 obviously is what I am looking for, but not being able to know how old someone is makes it especially awkward for me.
Also I have ZERO desire to use dating apps. I hear those don't really work anyway.
A thought is maybe Discord servers that are video game centric, but I am not sure about them. They might be too busy for my tastes as I prefer smaller servers.
Anyway, if anyone has any ideas as to what can be done I would appreciate it.
So I am 38 and single, and I do NOT wish to remain single for the rest of my life.
I will say this right off the bat, I do live with my parents and my current job is simply a dishwasher at a local restaurant. So no 6 figure income here.
So what am I looking for in a woman?
Well I am not really that picky, but I do have some main wants.
I like playing video games and would like if the woman enjoys video games as well. Now I am not the kind of gamer that plays ALL day, I usually just play for and hour or two and then stop and do something else. Sometimes more than once per day, but basically limited play time.
To me this is one of the more important things I am looking for. Watching someone play a game, or them watching me play a game, or even us taking turns playing the same game. I think this would likely bring me joy.
I also like doing jigsaw puzzles. Having done a jigsaw puzzle with my mother I realized how enjoyable it would be to do jigsaw puzzles with someone else. Kind of the same principle as laying videogames together, but this is even more so a together activity.
This isn't as necessary as video games, but something worth mentioning.
I do not smoke, I do not drink alcohol and I do not do drugs. I would strongly prefer if the woman did not do these things as well. This isn't something I see changing and suddenly start partaking in these things, so hopefully the woman would share this.
I am NOT wanting to marry for sex. I know that sounds silly, but I don't really see myself wanting to have sex a ton. Now we would have sex for the purpose of conceiving a child, but outside of that I am not requiring frequent sex.
I'm pretty introvert and not really one for traveling. That said as a couple I would not be against going on a vacation to places. Especially if marriage happened, a child or children happen, vacations with them would be nice. As a child my parents would take my sisters and me to Six Flags once every summer. This would be something fun to recreate with the child/children we have.
Now I know posting a journal won't magically make someone send me a note and we hit it off well. But I suppose a main reason to post this is to ask how I can find someone like this? I am introverted as previously mentioned. I have been to a few conventions so I am not against doing such things, but being 38 it's hard to find someone in my age bracket. 30-40 obviously is what I am looking for, but not being able to know how old someone is makes it especially awkward for me.
Also I have ZERO desire to use dating apps. I hear those don't really work anyway.
A thought is maybe Discord servers that are video game centric, but I am not sure about them. They might be too busy for my tastes as I prefer smaller servers.
Anyway, if anyone has any ideas as to what can be done I would appreciate it.
That's the first problem, so rectify that above all else.
Then try and see if there's local areas for clubs and things. Get out more.
It's really hard to get a house these days sadly, since poor people are put down so hard by the system.
And don't judge someone for being 38 and trying to find love and getting out of their current situation, my grandparents got married at 70, so don't judge.
If you're serious about finding a woman who you can marry and raise a family with, but don't want to use dating apps and are averse to joining interest-related Discord servers, it looks like you'll encounter a suitable match within the generous time frame of "never." Personally, I'd recommend ditching any prospects of finding love and focusing your time and energy towards more productive endeavors, things you can actually accomplish. I gave up on relationships in my late teens, and it's made life so much simpler. Alternatively, you could find a decent simulacra for one. I hear AI girlfriends are all the rage these days, but there's also the classy version of that, mail-order brides. Then again, those are probably a lot more expensive nowadays, for a number of reasons...
Good luck to you!
But IMO, women are unpredictable, needy, and even loose cannons. Make a better life for yourself before entering the dating scene. Not saying you should give up video games. I still play them every week and I'm older than you.
I think my boss is older than even you and he found a wife and had a child with her.
But hopefully you can find someone like me wanting to find someone.
Secondly for those saying "Obviously the problem is you need to have a better paying job and a house" is also a big yikes....because it falling into the mentality that so called "Men" need to be the providers of the household and having lot's of money is what deems one to be truly loved. PLUS....with how things are currently...having a truly good paying job and getting a house is completely unattainable currently....even for older folks. I am 27 right now...and as of right now I will not have my Student Loans paid off until I am 35 at most....so some people saying "Money and House" matters obviously has not have to struggle with that.
But anyhow....what I will say for y'all is just keep an open mind and try to put yourself out there more...meet people where your interests lie. For instance you say you are interested in a woman who games....I am sure there are like gaming events and/or Gaming Cafes you can find...I am sure they are out there. As far as finding THE WOMAN that meets all your criteria....that I would say....try not to hold as high of standard....and just focus on making a connection. When my Mom first met my Dad....he was totally not their type....but through his persistance...they kindled a friendship at first. Eventually after more time one night....they just decided to Marry each other. Would start with making any connections first...then also compromise. Like not saying you should for instance accept a women who drinks and does drugs non stop....BUT...maybe find a woman who mostly abstains from.it unless on a few occasions. But yeee...that is what I will say since I am sadly not a love expert nor have I ever been in any short of relationship and just going off based on what I have heard, seen, and experienced around other couples and such. You one is out there...just have to first start and put yourself out there...because id you aren't confident and love yourself...how can you find someone who loves you 😇😇😇😇
I am indeed keeping an open mind and know that the right person is out there somewhere.
As for "what I am looking for" it's not a hard line of that and only that, just some things I would like. Playing video games is a big one hence why I mentioned it, but some of the other things I could give a pass on.
Luckily for me I don't have student loan debt as I never went to college, so that isn't a stress I have to deal with.
But in any case I am not being doomer about this, I am the one that isn't very social, don't get out much, so it's mostly a me issue and I am fine with that.
Why do you not wish to remain single?
I do still live with my parents, but, you know that doesn't last forever.