I'll say in advance that most of this is resolved now. But it was still a rough situation.

My mother has been more emotional lately, and we had a fight because I'd promised my best friend to haul a new fridge for him at 1:00 PM on Thursday, and then just the day before, my mother tried to get me to pick up my nephews for the fair at the day and time I was going to haul the fridge. She acted like she didn't know. But I pointed out I'd told her roughly a week earlier, two days prior, and then just the day prior. She had been told plenty of times. And she just started bawling because she hadn't seen my younger two nephews in months. I told her I'd see if I could reschedule with my friend, and called him. We changed the time to 11:00 AM so I'd have two hours to get the fridge hauled, and then go get my nephews. I called my mother back, and she was still sobbing, but happy I'd worked it out. But then she pulled another 180 after the phonecall.

Just a few minutes later my dad was at my door, because my mother told him I wasn't going to help. I told him that's not what happened at all, and explained the whole story. He was relieved, but then we had to deal with my mother. I confronted her, and she acted like I only told her I could only maybe help my friend earlier, and that it wasn't a sure thing. Then she distorted things even more. I explained what really happened, and she again claimed I hadn't warned her I'd had plans. And I told her again that I did warn her, and how many times. She got upset and went back into the house. And I went back to doing yard work.

Well I was hauling some cut down locus trees to the burn pile, and I heard her loudly ranting about me to my dad. So I cam walking right up, and she tried to deny it at first, till I told her I'd heard enough. So she doubled down and yelled at me some more. But I gave as good as I got. She tried to say I should help family first. And then I reminded her that she always said my friend &&&& is family, like my brother from another mother. And then I asked her if she only considered him family if it was convenient. She tried to say it was different, and I should prioritize my nephews. I said that I'd made a promise, and if i'd made one to her, she'd expect me to keep it. She just got madder and decided she was going to walk away to keep ranting about me without me fighting back, and went into the house while still badmouthing me. I said "Oh hell no!" and followed her in.

During our remaining fight, she again tried to say I hadn't warned her. And once more I reminded her I had. And how many times. Then she tried the old line of "What ever happened to Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother?!". She hasn't gone to church in ten years! So I reminded her that the bible also says not to provoke your children to wrath. She started freaking out and yelling "WHERE! WHERE IN THE BIBLE DOES IT SAY THAT!? WHAT CHAPTER?! WHAT PASSAGE?!". I told her I didn't know where in the bible it said it, but I know it does say it. I googled it. That's when my dad had to reluctantly defend me and say "It's true... The bible really does say that....". My mother was floored. She tried to use an age old tactic with the bible, and had no idea there was an exact counter for it.

We continued the fight, she claimed I wasn't doing enough, even though I'm literally the only one left here who can do any yard work. Both of my parents have become frail. They can hardly walk anywhere, my mother needs a cane, and my dad has been using one sometimes too. And the both of them seem in and out of the hospital lately. But I'm nearly 40 with a weak spine. I'm not getting any younger either. And they've yet to ask my eldest nephew, who's living here for free, to do any work at all. In the end we both calmed down and came to a mutual agreement. But we fought about a lot, including my mother's drinking, and past things she'd done. So she started yelling "Since when do I have to answer to you!?". I pointed out that I'm the one who has to deal with the fallout. Just the day prior i found her outside yanking at thorn bushes with a cane trying to get at a plum tree, and she fell on her butt, and I had to haul her back to her house. She didn't even remember. And now she's being bitter towards me about how much alcohol she's having lately. But we still thankfully came to a resolution, and I pointed out that we bottle things up too much, and sometimes you just have to rant and shout about it.

Going to the fair worked out ok. But my mother kept somewhat bitterly pointing out to me she was having a bottle of water with each small cup of wine. But other than that, it was fine. I ended up getting her a gift to smooth things over more. She loves broaches, and collects them. So I got her one, and she's still wearing it. However, she's still in victim mode, because she called me earlier asking if she was a bad mother. This is what she does when she wants validation. She asked me to rate my childhood with a number. I ended up being completely honest with her about some things. She wasn't a bad parent. She was just busy a lot, and my older sister was making her life hell. Eventually I managed to steer the topic into us both ranting about my narcissistic sister. And she told me something horrifying that happened when my great grandmother died in 1992. My sister was 8 or 9, and she openly said she was glad great grandma was dead. My mother was so mortified back then that she couldn't even take my sister home, and sent her to stay with my grandparents for a while. And I realized, that's why she spent so much time over there back then. In the end, we both agreed that a lot of the roots of our mental problems stemmed from our respective older sisters. My mother's older sister, and my older sister are both extreme narcissists. Both are guilty of not only being horrid people, but both have committed infidelity, both are users, both treated their younger sibling like crap, both are DARVO, etc. My bad aunt slept with an underage boy, and from what we know, my sister likely did that too. My sister still thinks I don't know she was a cheater when she was married. And it was our mother who kept me from saying anything. She manipulated me for years, and straight up made up shit about our mother. But what's worse is, she makes stuff up and then convinces herself that it's true. My mother is bipolar schizophrenic. But she at least has gotten medicated for it. My sister more than likely has the same condition, and refused to admit it, or even go see a doctor. She has no problem telling other people to go to a doctor. But the second you tell her to do it, she says she doesn't want doctors putting their ideas into her head.

Anyway, my mother and I have resolved things for now. But she's in her old "Get it done!" mode, and can't physically do more than clean a bit around her own house. So I feel like she's taking it out on me a bit. Yes I am a bit lazy. But let's see you want to go out and do that crap in blistering summer heat. My dad certainly can't anymore. He understands. My mother just had it really rough as a child. She was raised by religious workaholic parents that played favorites. So that's become the core of her personality. And at the rate both of my parents are going, I'm not sure either of them will live to 70. My mother especially.