Like man this whole last month has been so hard for me trying to get over it and just absolutely failing at certain points. Today I got knocked out for half the day just staring at the ceiling coz I couldn't reign anything in and being super anxious. It's just so mentally draining.
I can't do anything. I can't work on commissions coz if a stray thought or action comes in I don't like I just wanna burn the whole picture down. I can't game coz it requires long stretches of constant focus and me constantly fighting thoughts in my head while trying to game. I can't watch anything coz I constantly keep rewinding the video to hear a slight part of sentence I didn't hear. I can't focus going out recently coz one that got me is constantly reading car plates and not being able to walk further. I can't go online coz I keep constantly repeating the username, time of postage and amount of views a picture has.
It's just draining to even exist at this point and I'm at this point just exhausted. I just wanna sleep away the whole day and not have to think anymore. I hate it.