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A lapse in self control.
a month ago
General
So two and a half years ago I posted this journal:
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10538785/
And for these past 2.5 years I have had no issues with this self imposed celibacy if you will.
Well yesterday I finally broke that. You may ask "what was it that broke you?" It was an animation I found on e621. Since I don't wish to link explicit porn in a public journal, if you do a search for the artist "funsizedfox" on e621 their latest animation aroused me in a way I have not felt in a LONG time.
To summarize the animation features two feminine male characters, a kobold and a shark like character. It features cock expansion and excessive cum. The best thing about the animation is it doesn't have a lot of the things I specifically don't like in animations and lewd art in general. No musk, no fast "jackhammer" thrusting, only a tiny bit of macro growth in the animation but not enough for me to dislike it, and overall it's just the kind of animation that pushes all the right buttons with me. I even like the moans which normally I mute every video. But even the sounds of the expansion and fluid splattering elevates it.
Well after downloading the animation onto my computer on the 20th of this month I would watch it every day or so and it would live rent free in my mind. Now obviously I wasn't in public thinking about it and getting aroused, but it was on my mind.
Furthermore it had me thinking of doing some more lewd sprite animations of my own, some maybe involving astronomical hyper, and also drawing the same kind of hyper stuff.
I was thinking about this so much I got a mad desire to type up an astronomical hyper expansion story with a scenario I had thought up at one point. I typed some on the 27th, and then on the 28th I was getting a little more into it. After reaching a good stopping point I brought up the aforementioned animation I found on e621 and it didn't take me too long into watching it before it just... happened. There went my 2.5 years of no orgasm. Like that I had slipped.
And today the morning I typed up more on this silly astronomical story and didn't do much in terms of pleasuring myself. But this afternoon I just didn't care and finished the story, then soon after I, ahem, finished myself...
Now I am not ashamed of myself, not even disappointed. But there is that whole "post nut clarity" of well that happen. I am relieved that I finished the story so I have no more need to work on or think about it, so hopefully that is out of my system. I really don't want to get back into a routine of masturbating again however, so hopefully those two sessions got it out of my system.
I know NONE of this really needs to be said and I am sure most people don't care. But I just wanted to talk about it as a slight vent if you will.
I may eventually post that story as a scrap as I am unsure if I really want to reread the whole thing to fix spelling errors, poorly written sentences or anything like that. It was pure self indulgent schlock that I just kind of needed to get out of my system. Plus it kind of devolved into certain points I don't really care for, which is more so power fantasy rather then just bigness. But it's difficult for me to think of ways to make the characters bigger without it devolving into just making them more powerful. So as said I am relieved that the story is done, but not fully happy with the contents there in.
But you know, whatever.
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10538785/
And for these past 2.5 years I have had no issues with this self imposed celibacy if you will.
Well yesterday I finally broke that. You may ask "what was it that broke you?" It was an animation I found on e621. Since I don't wish to link explicit porn in a public journal, if you do a search for the artist "funsizedfox" on e621 their latest animation aroused me in a way I have not felt in a LONG time.
To summarize the animation features two feminine male characters, a kobold and a shark like character. It features cock expansion and excessive cum. The best thing about the animation is it doesn't have a lot of the things I specifically don't like in animations and lewd art in general. No musk, no fast "jackhammer" thrusting, only a tiny bit of macro growth in the animation but not enough for me to dislike it, and overall it's just the kind of animation that pushes all the right buttons with me. I even like the moans which normally I mute every video. But even the sounds of the expansion and fluid splattering elevates it.
Well after downloading the animation onto my computer on the 20th of this month I would watch it every day or so and it would live rent free in my mind. Now obviously I wasn't in public thinking about it and getting aroused, but it was on my mind.
Furthermore it had me thinking of doing some more lewd sprite animations of my own, some maybe involving astronomical hyper, and also drawing the same kind of hyper stuff.
I was thinking about this so much I got a mad desire to type up an astronomical hyper expansion story with a scenario I had thought up at one point. I typed some on the 27th, and then on the 28th I was getting a little more into it. After reaching a good stopping point I brought up the aforementioned animation I found on e621 and it didn't take me too long into watching it before it just... happened. There went my 2.5 years of no orgasm. Like that I had slipped.
And today the morning I typed up more on this silly astronomical story and didn't do much in terms of pleasuring myself. But this afternoon I just didn't care and finished the story, then soon after I, ahem, finished myself...
Now I am not ashamed of myself, not even disappointed. But there is that whole "post nut clarity" of well that happen. I am relieved that I finished the story so I have no more need to work on or think about it, so hopefully that is out of my system. I really don't want to get back into a routine of masturbating again however, so hopefully those two sessions got it out of my system.
I know NONE of this really needs to be said and I am sure most people don't care. But I just wanted to talk about it as a slight vent if you will.
I may eventually post that story as a scrap as I am unsure if I really want to reread the whole thing to fix spelling errors, poorly written sentences or anything like that. It was pure self indulgent schlock that I just kind of needed to get out of my system. Plus it kind of devolved into certain points I don't really care for, which is more so power fantasy rather then just bigness. But it's difficult for me to think of ways to make the characters bigger without it devolving into just making them more powerful. So as said I am relieved that the story is done, but not fully happy with the contents there in.
But you know, whatever.
But yeah, I get how you feel but more like needing to destressed if I get overworked or my emotions act up