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So, I'm back.
16 years ago
General
"We are made to persist."
I had a good trip. It was entirely too short, but productive nonetheless.
Now I'm freezing in the horrible, foul smelling pit that I left Thursday afternoon.... And my motivation is GONE.
It's probably just because I'm exhausted. I didn't have time to get anything scanned in while I was away, so I apologize to anyone who was looking forward to something. Particularly you, Acey, if you're reading this. I'll go up to the library and covertly scan some things in one day next week. They technically can't bother me as long as what I'm scanning isn't outright smut x3
I had a really great weekend....
It's really kinda of strange that I should feel so homesick in the place I've lived my entire life, but then I'm not really at home, here.
So, to my Resolutions for this year, even though I never manage to keep them. I came very close to keeping last year's resolution, but I'm afraid I was shooting too high.
Even so, I'm in business now, and being in business helped me to go see my mate. 2010 should see an increase.
First resolution is this: GET BACK TO BEING DANGEROUS. I don't care if I lose weight or not, I don't care if I wind up in better shape for it. But I'm going to at bare minimum recover the ability I've lost since about 2006 if it freaking kills me. I'm tired of not being able to walk where I want, for as long as I want. I'm tired of being able to see the slowness in my reflexes and feel the atrophy in my muscles and the stiffness in my joints. I've been out of the game too long, it's time I picked up a weapon and started practicing again, and hitting the gym on the days I don't do that. Once upon a time, I could confidently say I could hold my own if I were attacked. I can't say that anymore and it pisses me off.
Second Resolution goes hand in hand with the first, and it's to STOP KILLING MYSELF WITH FOOD.
Third Resolution is to GET MY CASE FOR DISABILITY IN ORDER.
And finally, to get my business in order. That I didn't finish doing last year, but I anticipated that I would not. Kind of a big thing to tackle, you know.
Now, if I can do just those four things, I'll call it a year well spent. But there's a fifth one I'd like to accomplish.
To get the hell out of Pensacola: If not for good, then as often as I possibly can. This entails so many complicated proceedings I don't see how it's going to happen, but I'm going to make it happen. I'm weary of this place, and I feel as though it's slowly killing me. I've been saying ti for years, but recently more and more reasons to leave have been presenting themselves. I suspect that this year the reasons to go and the means to do so will be sufficient to outweigh the reasons to stay....
At least, I hope so. I'm tired of living with the closest thing to my heart being the farthest thing from my touch.... So very, very tired.
Goodnight everyone.
Now I'm freezing in the horrible, foul smelling pit that I left Thursday afternoon.... And my motivation is GONE.
It's probably just because I'm exhausted. I didn't have time to get anything scanned in while I was away, so I apologize to anyone who was looking forward to something. Particularly you, Acey, if you're reading this. I'll go up to the library and covertly scan some things in one day next week. They technically can't bother me as long as what I'm scanning isn't outright smut x3
I had a really great weekend....
It's really kinda of strange that I should feel so homesick in the place I've lived my entire life, but then I'm not really at home, here.
So, to my Resolutions for this year, even though I never manage to keep them. I came very close to keeping last year's resolution, but I'm afraid I was shooting too high.
Even so, I'm in business now, and being in business helped me to go see my mate. 2010 should see an increase.
First resolution is this: GET BACK TO BEING DANGEROUS. I don't care if I lose weight or not, I don't care if I wind up in better shape for it. But I'm going to at bare minimum recover the ability I've lost since about 2006 if it freaking kills me. I'm tired of not being able to walk where I want, for as long as I want. I'm tired of being able to see the slowness in my reflexes and feel the atrophy in my muscles and the stiffness in my joints. I've been out of the game too long, it's time I picked up a weapon and started practicing again, and hitting the gym on the days I don't do that. Once upon a time, I could confidently say I could hold my own if I were attacked. I can't say that anymore and it pisses me off.
Second Resolution goes hand in hand with the first, and it's to STOP KILLING MYSELF WITH FOOD.
Third Resolution is to GET MY CASE FOR DISABILITY IN ORDER.
And finally, to get my business in order. That I didn't finish doing last year, but I anticipated that I would not. Kind of a big thing to tackle, you know.
Now, if I can do just those four things, I'll call it a year well spent. But there's a fifth one I'd like to accomplish.
To get the hell out of Pensacola: If not for good, then as often as I possibly can. This entails so many complicated proceedings I don't see how it's going to happen, but I'm going to make it happen. I'm weary of this place, and I feel as though it's slowly killing me. I've been saying ti for years, but recently more and more reasons to leave have been presenting themselves. I suspect that this year the reasons to go and the means to do so will be sufficient to outweigh the reasons to stay....
At least, I hope so. I'm tired of living with the closest thing to my heart being the farthest thing from my touch.... So very, very tired.
Goodnight everyone.
"That's how we find out who we are."
Do You Like Metal?
Art I owe people:
wildmark- Ongoing project
mitsozuka- Reference Sheet
foxystallion- Ongoing project
Do You Like Metal?
Art I owe people:
wildmark- Ongoing project
mitsozuka- Reference Sheet
foxystallion- Ongoing project
Disability? Well, I hope you can get your case worked out! My Aunt has disability and my Mom is going to have to get it too (but she doesn't want to)
*hugs* I can't wait to see what you do this year XD
Me? I just want to be able to walk several miles without stopping and arm-curl my boyfriend again x3
3 and 4 are totally doable, since the ball is rolling on them both already, and I'll be kickin' you in the behind every day about the Disability, and might even be joining you.
5, I don't really know about. I want it to happen smoothly more than immediately, ergo it could take until next year. But I want to be well into the process before 2011.
Getting an effective start on #1 and #2 isn't difficult: simply lower the glycemic index of your diet:
http://www.amazon.com/Glucose-Revol.....dp/0738212520/
Buy a used copy. It will be the best investment that you have ever made.
That doesn't mean going hungry or eating rabbit food. It does mean substituting beans, peas, and lentils for rice, sweet potatoes for regular potatoes, oat cereal for wheat cereal, pasta for bread - and eating lots of fish and meat. Does that sound too hard to do?
The typical American diet raises blood sugar more per hundred grams than the same mass of pure table sugar. That is a very big problem because your body defends itself from toxic high levels of blood glucose by converting it to stored body fat. O-o...
And I did it on 20$ a week. I don't think i could anymore, but it's worth investigating.
Remember lots of fish - or at least fish oil capsules.
I was even proficient with a weapon that weighed about 20lbs. I could swing it around all day, no problem, even pulling my shots so I didn't hurt anyone with it.
I can't even describe how much it burns that I can't keep up like that anymore, and that the fact that I can't is my fault, that I let myself go this far....ughg.... *smolders*
If you go on a low glycemic index diet, you will be very gratified at how fast your condition improves. The average American diet has a GI of about 78 to 79. Pure glucose is 100. Pure table sugar (sucrose) is about 60. Rice and regular potatoes are in the 90s. See the problem? Our pre-agricultural ancestors' diets were in the 20s to the 30s - or even less. You will feel better within 48 hours. No rice. If you want potato chips or fries, slice up some sweet potatoes and fry them in canola or olive oil. They taste even better.
If I tried running for more than a few minutes I'd asphyxiate. One of the peculiar flavors of asthma has turned me into a "stand and fight" sort of fellow. I'm a very quick sprinter only if I have no choice (rabid werewolf). Fighting on the other hand is enough less intense that I've never had an attack from a sparring match. Which i need more of in my life right about now, I think u.u