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Emergency 'Darkness and Light' sale, AND on Getting Help.
2 months ago
General
Bear with me for a moment here.
Actually, first. I need to open for a VERY SMALL emergency commission sale of broadly 'Darkness and Light' themed anything. Because I have 6 dollars to my name, my car insurance is comically overdue, various other bills due, and I'm literally verging on the meme of a starving artist because groceries. I'm gonna say they're just 50$ slots for single character, can be kinky or not (I know ya'll love some kink) and female OR male, I WILL take multiple characters in a single one but each character is 50$ usd, and... here. Simplified breakdown.
DARKNESS and/or LIGHT themed
KINK or CLEAN
50$ per character
Emergency Sale because I'm broke.
Throw a note or hit me up on discord!
Ok, that out of the way. NOW, bear with me here, maybe read if you want to get to know me because do I have a story.
First of all, my mom had a stroke on literally January first of this year. Crazy, right? I was visiting them, went to see how my ailing father was, and he told me she was scaring him in a way he didn't know how to deal with. She had a stroke, didn't even realize it but for the fact that she had lost all ability to read or speak coherent sentences. It's this thing called 'Aphasia'. Your intelligence is left intact, you just can't read, write, or speak properly. Anyway, that's one thing. I've been preoccupied helping them with that and generally worried over it. But ALSO. That prompted me to finally do something that was long overdue. And...
I was diagnosed by a doctor with severe chronic depression disorder. Like. A week ago, actually. Turns out, my brain hasn't been getting serotonin or other happy normally natural brain chemicals for like... years now. Which for those who have been following my art, I bet you've noticed it way more than I have that I've slowed down, seemed less enthusiastic, been irritable even when I try my best not to be. Yeah, well. Tadaa. Turns out I have a genetic predisposition to just not make any of the brain chemicals that actually provides people with sensations of happiness, fulfillment, or anything positive.
NORMALLY, I would be so paranoid about talking about myself openly that I would never tell anyone this. Hell, there used to be times I would be so unnaturally paranoid I just couldn't write posts or post art because my brain just haywired. I'd put on a face, apologize for delays, talk about how it made me happy that other people could enjoy my art, all while just, ya know, feeling nothing. I literally for years now for days, weeks, months at a time just felt nothing. Not because people did anything to prompt it, but because my mental health was in a constant state of perpetual empty tank. And this has been for like. YEARS.
Anyway, I just started medication for it like 5 days ago. And HOOOO BOY.
Despite being told it would take 6-8 weeks to have any noticable effect HOLY CRAP I did art the other day for Wolphin (Great commissioner, one of my favs) and actually felt ENJOYMENT in doing art really for the first time in I cannot recall how long. And this was a commission for a christmas picture! Imagine how I'll feel working on some of the sexy art I have to work on still for people or even some original ideas I've been having the last few days!
This is all to say.
Mental health is important.
AND the reason I chose the theme as 'Darkness and/or Light'.
Because I feel like I'm seeing the light for the first time in forever.
Cheers, love you all, fresh art coming soon.
I feel so good I might even actually start posting to Bluesky instead of being chronically paranoid about sharing my art and ideas. How crazy is that? Hah.
Actually, first. I need to open for a VERY SMALL emergency commission sale of broadly 'Darkness and Light' themed anything. Because I have 6 dollars to my name, my car insurance is comically overdue, various other bills due, and I'm literally verging on the meme of a starving artist because groceries. I'm gonna say they're just 50$ slots for single character, can be kinky or not (I know ya'll love some kink) and female OR male, I WILL take multiple characters in a single one but each character is 50$ usd, and... here. Simplified breakdown.
DARKNESS and/or LIGHT themed
KINK or CLEAN
50$ per character
Emergency Sale because I'm broke.
Throw a note or hit me up on discord!
Ok, that out of the way. NOW, bear with me here, maybe read if you want to get to know me because do I have a story.
First of all, my mom had a stroke on literally January first of this year. Crazy, right? I was visiting them, went to see how my ailing father was, and he told me she was scaring him in a way he didn't know how to deal with. She had a stroke, didn't even realize it but for the fact that she had lost all ability to read or speak coherent sentences. It's this thing called 'Aphasia'. Your intelligence is left intact, you just can't read, write, or speak properly. Anyway, that's one thing. I've been preoccupied helping them with that and generally worried over it. But ALSO. That prompted me to finally do something that was long overdue. And...
I was diagnosed by a doctor with severe chronic depression disorder. Like. A week ago, actually. Turns out, my brain hasn't been getting serotonin or other happy normally natural brain chemicals for like... years now. Which for those who have been following my art, I bet you've noticed it way more than I have that I've slowed down, seemed less enthusiastic, been irritable even when I try my best not to be. Yeah, well. Tadaa. Turns out I have a genetic predisposition to just not make any of the brain chemicals that actually provides people with sensations of happiness, fulfillment, or anything positive.
NORMALLY, I would be so paranoid about talking about myself openly that I would never tell anyone this. Hell, there used to be times I would be so unnaturally paranoid I just couldn't write posts or post art because my brain just haywired. I'd put on a face, apologize for delays, talk about how it made me happy that other people could enjoy my art, all while just, ya know, feeling nothing. I literally for years now for days, weeks, months at a time just felt nothing. Not because people did anything to prompt it, but because my mental health was in a constant state of perpetual empty tank. And this has been for like. YEARS.
Anyway, I just started medication for it like 5 days ago. And HOOOO BOY.
Despite being told it would take 6-8 weeks to have any noticable effect HOLY CRAP I did art the other day for Wolphin (Great commissioner, one of my favs) and actually felt ENJOYMENT in doing art really for the first time in I cannot recall how long. And this was a commission for a christmas picture! Imagine how I'll feel working on some of the sexy art I have to work on still for people or even some original ideas I've been having the last few days!
This is all to say.
Mental health is important.
AND the reason I chose the theme as 'Darkness and/or Light'.
Because I feel like I'm seeing the light for the first time in forever.
Cheers, love you all, fresh art coming soon.
I feel so good I might even actually start posting to Bluesky instead of being chronically paranoid about sharing my art and ideas. How crazy is that? Hah.
Might if i ask about the theme?
My partner poked you on Discord about some commissions, and I've shared this with a few people I know who might be interested, so if you get a few pokes on Discord from new clients, you'll know why.
Best of luck, I really hope you can get the help you need to turn things around.
I'll check my funds, see if I can help.
As for yourself, excellent you got a diagnosis and a solution. Hope it all goes well and I might have to do some more thinking about things, I'm out at site currently though, so may be a bit limited.