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To the Amazon...[rant]
15 years ago
I've always been very clear where my preferences lay with regards to women. I like strong women. I don't just mean athletic women, but also ones with mental and emotional strength. All forms of strength are fair game. I don't want the shrinking violet. I don't want the seen but not heard girl. I am not captivated by the girl who calls for aid at the first sign of danger with out even thinking about how to possibly solve it herself. I, much like one of my favorite characters, love the Amazon.
Over the last few years, I've done much to pursue those I felt were strong. Who had strength to either match, compliment or exceed my own. The problem became when I started noticing some of those traits I value in their extreme forms, and they honestly scare me.
The first, and most surprising was the woman who was so driven to be independent that to even offer her assistance for any reason was tantamount to insulting her and every woman alive. To offer to carry something for her, was to imply that she and all women were weak and unable to do things for themselves. To offer to walk her home was to imply that she couldn't defend herself or repel potential threats. To even tell her that if she needed to, she could talk to me about her problems was essentially calling her a nervous and emotional wreck.
Scary stuff.
The next one was one who had such a desire to be a the strong and in control one, that she felt she could only ever be with a woman simply because she felt she could never be stronger than or in control of a man. This confused and worried me a bit, especially where now more than ever, men and women are able to live and be seen as equals (Yes, I know it's not perfect yet and there are contradicting points and situations that exist). So why would someone who was so driven to be strong and in control, cow at the thought of trying to dominate a male?
Confusing stuff.
The final one I'll mention was one that I consider an incredibly smart and passionate woman. She was a champion of many causes, attended many rallies and public talks aimed at educating folks about the plights of others. From the plight of women today, to the war torn nations and the world around us, there was no cause she wouldn't take up. The thing was, if you weren't right in the thick of it, you were the 'enemy'. Strange jump in logic, right? I attended a take back the night rally that she was speaking at. I wanted to show my support for this woman who I was so proud of and enamored with. What I got, was something I did not expect, and nor did any of the other males who were there to support these women. By the time she was done talking, we were made to feel that we could not only never understand their plight but that by even just being there, we were exacerbating it. Our presence was just the sad attempt of primitives who could not ever understand, and who were just offering a hollow 'there there, dear', effectively perpetuating the situation and in truth, making a mockery of it.
Hurtful stuff.
They had one thing in common though. In their drive to be strong, they pushed away others. I don't know if I have a point to this, really. I'm confused by it all and struggling to understand it. When did the amazon become the crazy one who only knew how to stand and, ultimately, fall alone? Where did the warrior women who could stand not only toe to toe with men, but also side by side with them, go? Did they ever really exist? Was this always and will this always be a war between the sexes?
Over the last few years, I've done much to pursue those I felt were strong. Who had strength to either match, compliment or exceed my own. The problem became when I started noticing some of those traits I value in their extreme forms, and they honestly scare me.
The first, and most surprising was the woman who was so driven to be independent that to even offer her assistance for any reason was tantamount to insulting her and every woman alive. To offer to carry something for her, was to imply that she and all women were weak and unable to do things for themselves. To offer to walk her home was to imply that she couldn't defend herself or repel potential threats. To even tell her that if she needed to, she could talk to me about her problems was essentially calling her a nervous and emotional wreck.
Scary stuff.
The next one was one who had such a desire to be a the strong and in control one, that she felt she could only ever be with a woman simply because she felt she could never be stronger than or in control of a man. This confused and worried me a bit, especially where now more than ever, men and women are able to live and be seen as equals (Yes, I know it's not perfect yet and there are contradicting points and situations that exist). So why would someone who was so driven to be strong and in control, cow at the thought of trying to dominate a male?
Confusing stuff.
The final one I'll mention was one that I consider an incredibly smart and passionate woman. She was a champion of many causes, attended many rallies and public talks aimed at educating folks about the plights of others. From the plight of women today, to the war torn nations and the world around us, there was no cause she wouldn't take up. The thing was, if you weren't right in the thick of it, you were the 'enemy'. Strange jump in logic, right? I attended a take back the night rally that she was speaking at. I wanted to show my support for this woman who I was so proud of and enamored with. What I got, was something I did not expect, and nor did any of the other males who were there to support these women. By the time she was done talking, we were made to feel that we could not only never understand their plight but that by even just being there, we were exacerbating it. Our presence was just the sad attempt of primitives who could not ever understand, and who were just offering a hollow 'there there, dear', effectively perpetuating the situation and in truth, making a mockery of it.
Hurtful stuff.
They had one thing in common though. In their drive to be strong, they pushed away others. I don't know if I have a point to this, really. I'm confused by it all and struggling to understand it. When did the amazon become the crazy one who only knew how to stand and, ultimately, fall alone? Where did the warrior women who could stand not only toe to toe with men, but also side by side with them, go? Did they ever really exist? Was this always and will this always be a war between the sexes?
One and three are the types that tend to piss me off more than anything. They presumably fight so hard for being discriminated against that they are completely blind to the fact that they are just as bad (if not worse) than some of the very things they find distasteful in men. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for womens' rights, but really, the street works both ways. You want to be treated as an equal fine, but you get the good with the bad; and that means if you were to pull that shit on me, I'm going to call you out on being sexist towards men.
I'm not sure, what I'd make of lady number two. But she also seems to have some mixed up notions about men. The whole idea that a guy cannot be expressive, sensitive, or be submissive in a relation ship is bull. Its a stereo type, but you know, again, apparently that's okay, because their guys. They can take it, right? RIGHT?
Really all of these people sound like they are not strong at all, but rather compensating for something. I'm no shrink, so I couldn't say for certain, but strength isn't the vibe I'm getting from what you've described in these three.
Rather than looking for someone who's at the extreme of these, maybe you should look at the middle of the road. A women who's graduated college and has a successful carrier might actually come across "stronger" mentally than you might think. They certainly would have proven to me that they are more than capable at doing what they've set out to do, but if they are good at their jobs, they should understand the value of teamwork and the cooperation of others (including men).
Just my two cents
As for the first two, I did call them on it, this is more a lament that it turned out that way.
Also, these women did graduate university and did have quite successful careers. People have lives outside of their work that are often quite different from their professional lives.
You're right on the point about people's professional lives being very different from their personal lives; though what I was referring more to was that women in that position are probably more likely to have dealt with their fair share of crap than those who aren't.
Oh, I know what you mean. Its even worse that people like that rarely listen...