So I think I realized something today. Most of my relationships have been horrible failures, I mean, for the other person that is, it never really bothered me that much. But I figured I was just a big enough mess that they didn't want to be around me or something. Well, today, I was indulging in the singles delight (I was watching fuckin porn), and I came across this video with this couple goin' at it. Well, they seemed really into it and intimate and shit, and I found myself totally disinterested and gettin a softy. I mean, it wasn't boring, the chick could really move and you would think that them being all into it would make it all the better, but I was just kinda grossed out. They were enjoying it. Ick. I never knew that about myself. It sounds so silly and gothish or something, but the polarity's reversed on something in the ol' noggin that's making me dislike it when other people are happy. I mean, I'm not really a dick because I usually come to the defense of people I see as victims, but that's the thing, I'm disinterested in happy people and will only jump in if it means someone's already suffering and I can get guilt free vengeance for their suffering on their behalf.