For those of you who don't know, I'm a HUGE roleplayer. In fact, as of recently, I've been RPing almost obsessively (A number of people have told me ^^;). Earlier today, I was sitting around, joking with a friend of mine about the shitty RPers we've seen around, and i thought it'd be funny to type up this list of rules. We thought it was amusing, and I think you will, too

A Noobs Guide to Roleplaying

-If you can’t spell your threads name, I’m not joining
-Roleplays about Naruto are grossly overdone
-anthropomorphic characters don’t ALWAYS have to be the lesser race to the cruel, racist hyoomanz
-Vampires don’t necessarily have to be goths. Put the Marlyn Manson CD down
-If your character isn’t old enough to master potty training, don’t put them in a bar full of demons and psycho killers. It isn’t cute
-Demons and angels CANNOT create a child. That is a paradox, and shame on you for the idea
-if you cannot use all three letters when spelling the word “you”, then you aren’t fit to make any threads
-If your character wants to whine about how terrible their life is, my characters will gladly end it for them. It’ll save time and perfectly good razorblades
-being a demon =/= invulnerable
-being an elemental =/= invulnerable. In fact, the opposite
-Naruto RPs are overdone
-You do not know my characters name. You just joined five minutes ago
-if I didn’t tell you I’m a drummer, I’m not
-I don’t care how realistic you say your wolf RP is. If they’re speaking English, I know you’re full of shit
-Seriously. Stop with the Naruto threads
-There is no spoon
-Odd… I don’t recall telling you that you could have a race of people with modern earth technology exist on my sword and sorcery planet
-You are not Sephiroth
-You are not Sephiroth
-You are not Sephiroth
-Why no. I don’t want to be your race. Please stop trying to force me to your side
-If I say I don’t like that type of weapon, stop trying to give me one
-If I’m a fire elemental, guess what doesn’t kill me
-If I wanted to hear the latest shitty evenessence song, I’d listen to the radio. We don’t need to hear the lyrics of the song your character’s singing
-Your parents DO love you
-One person being raped by their father is a tragedy. 20 is a statistic
-Cloud is straight
-Sora is straight
-Jak is straight
-Tidus is… Okay. I’ll let that one slide
-Don’t beg for life, and then cry about how you wish you were dead.
-You’re not a fucking ninja. For one thing, I can see you
-Teleporting through time and space to force yourself into my private roleplay will warrant me kicking you into orbit
-Die once, I’ll be sad. Die twice, I’ll be depressed. Die three times, and I’m pissing on your grave
-You know, there is a better way to introduce yourself then tripping over a log and landing in front of me
-Seriously. A Tripod? Do you get a boner by godmodding?
-When I say “anthro only rp”, you’re not the sole exception
-Come on! Naruto isn’t THAT great of a show!
-Telling you not to blow up the city isn’t a restriction on your character; it’s a restriction on you.
-Jesus loves you… Unless you pretend to be his dad
-You’re not the Juggernaut, bitch
-Cheese is not funny
-Come on. At least let me fight back before you describe how you dodged my attack
-if you don’t want to be a slave, then don’t sell yourself to slavery
-Just because I don’t want your character to rape mine up the ass, doesn’t mean I’M the bad roleplayer
-A shotgun DOES kill in one hit
-You know, alchemists don’t HAVE to have automail body parts
-When there’s thirty RP threads about the same cartoon, don’t make another
-Asking me to fuck ten minutes after meeting you will do nothing but have your sexual organs ripped from you
-I didn’t join the RP just to watch you make an ass of yourself
-That’s funny. Your character is old enough to go through college, when just last week he wasn’t old enough to walk
-If I lost a fight and am close to death, please. PLEASE don’t heal me with two words
-Three days of making your characters fighting ability just right is pointless if you’re too much of a pussy to involve yourself in a fight
-TyPiNg LiKe ThIs OnLy MaKeS yOu LoOk BaD
-If you start a fight, finish it. Don’t run away when you realize you suck
-If your character isn’t from Japan, don’t make them put random Japanese words in their dialog… Baka
-roleplay =/= Soap Opera
-You are NOT an army
-X’s does not make names cooler
-Stop trainfucking with Sauske and pay attention to the kid with the original idea
-If you autohit me, I’m free to remove your limbs
-Wake up! Aeris is dead!
-Your head is not bulletproof
-YOU ARE A TOY!
-If your death scene is longer then thirty minutes, I’ll finish you off myself
-If all your superhuman powers “kill you a little more” every time you use them, then DON’T FUCKING USE THEM YOU EMO DOUCHEBAG!
-Katanas aren’t THAT handy of a weapon
-Everyone’s gay for Bridget… No one’s gay for you. No matter how many times you try and tell my character otherwise
-You cannot ride bears
-pick an eye color and stick with it
-Fellen angels are not graceful
-Only four sayens got off the planet. Your character is not one of them
-If you say everybody hates you, we will. (Fenris-The-Red-Wolf)

Have any other ones you’d like to add? Let me know. Let’s see just how big we can make this list

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In other news, the contest is still going strong. We haven't any entries just yet, but there's still plenty of time to worry about it.

For those of you who have yet to see the rules of the contest, you can find everything you need here http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/115168/

So. Until next time, this is your favorite inflatable cabbit saying "may your contact with noobs be limited"