Why is it when someone gets close to me.. They run off. Is it their closemindedness? There are a select few who stand by me after getting close. My master Eidolun, His mate, Otto. Both as an example love me dispite my offsets. I know what they are. I cant change them and yet some people insist they can change me. My ex pet as of 2 nights ago, I fell hard for, Pathetically actually. Darkfox. He kept telling me he loved me, that he would never leave me no matter what etc etc etc. Yet.. He gets mated, his mate dont WANT to get to know me and decides that he does not like the idea of him having a master, so whats he do? He leaves me. I rage, push him away and ruin the chance of a continuing friendship. But I dont want anything less than what we had. So its no loss to me.

Anyway back to the situation I am getting at!

I can not for the life of me find a mate. The downfalls are there and I know them. Theres no fixing them. I am an Extrovert. I go where the social situations are. I am very playful and flamboiant. People fall in love with me on sight irl and online. Then when the know of my SEVERE downfalls, the fact I can be an asshole, a drinker (Non violent but.. annoying lol) possessive, argumentative, and a HUGE hypocrite. Ive tried, and am unable to change those things. Ive changed a lot. But those are not things I can change.

Most of you reading this are aware of my downfalls and accept me as a friend for them. None of you are willing to attempt to take this Friendship to another level. Note me if you 'Would If I could' or somfin. But otherwise, I am pretty sure I know why.

I am destined, untill i mature a bit, to be single. I have a loving and deticated active master and friends. And I thank you all for that. As for the emo journals of not finding someone and stuff. You wont see those anymore. i accept what I have for me and am happy FOR IT! I love you all. <3~