FA+
Shop
Artists, Dilettanti... and me
15 years ago
Δ Δ
ō_ō - "The following text contains caffeine and bitterness!"
ƯB
ō_ō - "The following text contains caffeine and bitterness!"
ƯB
It's fascinating how the personal view of oneself can change over years.
Around four years ago, maybe a bit more, I used to consider myself an artist. An artist, that loved drawing, scribbling, doodling, just killing time with a pencil and an ink pen, creating many unimportant scribblings... but yet sometimes a piece that made me say "Hey! I made this. I'm proud of it". Even drawings of other artists couldn't bring me down... looking at someone from reknown furries, magnificent artists and genuine dick delivery services alike, were of little importance considered to what I have created for myself.
Then... three years: nothing. Not a single drawing of considerable importance to me. I think it stopped in the middle of vocational school, where I still drew alot, but kinda got occupied with other things.
And now... I got a tablet, free imaging software and a delicious melange of the desire to become the artist I was (whilst surpassing my former skills) as well as demotivation and the constant loss of focus. In the places where drawing used to be, other things seem to take place. Given, I cared little about my education resulting in lots of drawings done in school... a majority actually (whilst still being able to finish my Abitur), probably explaining my time problem, since, as soon as I get home, my priorities shifted pretty much.
But also, other artists, of which I have discovered a whole lot over time, seem to have a greater impact on me than before. It presumably went from acknowledgement, over admiration, over idolization to frustration. It's true what they say. Higher goals look far away, considerably.
At some of the pictures I created in the past, I can't even take a look without a feeling of discomfort or even scorn. To me they look... dilletante. True, many people told me, that I have my own style and that they like it... but the thing about my style is, that I have to like it.
Witnessing a live feed of reknown Spelunker Sal drawing a commission didn't help much either. Other people seem to do their work with such ease. Just watching him swinging those lines as if it was in his blood made my stomach turn. Sure, he had lots of experience and attended classes...
I tried to do it again, just a few days ago. The result of this try is, properly located, in the scrap folder. It's the same as always. I start with enough motivation to make a rebel faction turn over a government and end up sitting in front of the picture dissecting everything I don't like about it. And there's a lot.
I managed to break my problems with art and me down to a few factors, that are absolutely clear to me:
1a. Patience
You can't rush art. It's a fact. But whenever I work on something, I feel like I have to finish it asap. Not a good thing to do. Even just for this simple portrait I should have taken the time to work a few reference sheets for the character, the head, the armor, the weapon... but no! stick posing sketch, raw form, there we go. It looks... improper.
2. Priorities
Someone once told me, that you don't learn how to draw from books. Well, not entirely. Expertise comes from practice, trial and error... if at first you don't succeed, try, try, try... But that seems to be another problem. I simply can't assign proper days for training, because some other things are always more important.
3. "I am great!"
I know it sounds like first class steaming bullshit when you say it like that, but this is the mentality one should have. You are great. It doesn't matter that you are surrounded by artists whose fans would probably give their left testicles for commissions to... as long as you like what you do, this does not matter.
I know these things... and knowing is half the battle. Unfortunately, half-battles won't win wars. If I ever get a grip on these problems, maybe things will get better for me in the artistic department. I shall continue working on it and filling my scraps with attempts until I eventually dish out something redeemable.
You have found this irrelevant
-FTP
Around four years ago, maybe a bit more, I used to consider myself an artist. An artist, that loved drawing, scribbling, doodling, just killing time with a pencil and an ink pen, creating many unimportant scribblings... but yet sometimes a piece that made me say "Hey! I made this. I'm proud of it". Even drawings of other artists couldn't bring me down... looking at someone from reknown furries, magnificent artists and genuine dick delivery services alike, were of little importance considered to what I have created for myself.
Then... three years: nothing. Not a single drawing of considerable importance to me. I think it stopped in the middle of vocational school, where I still drew alot, but kinda got occupied with other things.
And now... I got a tablet, free imaging software and a delicious melange of the desire to become the artist I was (whilst surpassing my former skills) as well as demotivation and the constant loss of focus. In the places where drawing used to be, other things seem to take place. Given, I cared little about my education resulting in lots of drawings done in school... a majority actually (whilst still being able to finish my Abitur), probably explaining my time problem, since, as soon as I get home, my priorities shifted pretty much.
But also, other artists, of which I have discovered a whole lot over time, seem to have a greater impact on me than before. It presumably went from acknowledgement, over admiration, over idolization to frustration. It's true what they say. Higher goals look far away, considerably.
At some of the pictures I created in the past, I can't even take a look without a feeling of discomfort or even scorn. To me they look... dilletante. True, many people told me, that I have my own style and that they like it... but the thing about my style is, that I have to like it.
Witnessing a live feed of reknown Spelunker Sal drawing a commission didn't help much either. Other people seem to do their work with such ease. Just watching him swinging those lines as if it was in his blood made my stomach turn. Sure, he had lots of experience and attended classes...
I tried to do it again, just a few days ago. The result of this try is, properly located, in the scrap folder. It's the same as always. I start with enough motivation to make a rebel faction turn over a government and end up sitting in front of the picture dissecting everything I don't like about it. And there's a lot.
I managed to break my problems with art and me down to a few factors, that are absolutely clear to me:
1a. Patience
You can't rush art. It's a fact. But whenever I work on something, I feel like I have to finish it asap. Not a good thing to do. Even just for this simple portrait I should have taken the time to work a few reference sheets for the character, the head, the armor, the weapon... but no! stick posing sketch, raw form, there we go. It looks... improper.
2. Priorities
Someone once told me, that you don't learn how to draw from books. Well, not entirely. Expertise comes from practice, trial and error... if at first you don't succeed, try, try, try... But that seems to be another problem. I simply can't assign proper days for training, because some other things are always more important.
3. "I am great!"
I know it sounds like first class steaming bullshit when you say it like that, but this is the mentality one should have. You are great. It doesn't matter that you are surrounded by artists whose fans would probably give their left testicles for commissions to... as long as you like what you do, this does not matter.
I know these things... and knowing is half the battle. Unfortunately, half-battles won't win wars. If I ever get a grip on these problems, maybe things will get better for me in the artistic department. I shall continue working on it and filling my scraps with attempts until I eventually dish out something redeemable.
You have found this irrelevant
-FTP
You're doing it wrong!
Seriously, friend. Art can't be compared. Of course, you can look at two artists and tell if someone has a more advanced technique or something. But if you think like that, you surely have no real idea what art really is.
It's not about being better. If you want that, go to the advertising industry. Art is about doing what you like to do, express yourself and have fun with it. You don't have to be good to be an artist.
What do you expect? You don't draw for 3 years and now you want to be the next da Vinci? This will not happen. If you want to be good at drawing, you have to practice. But if you want to be a good artist you just have to be yourself. Thats all there is to it. And drawing... well if you are an artist you will probably draw a lot. You'll get better with every picture.
I know starting all over sucks... but there is no other way. You can speed things up a little by buying books and take courses, but it will still take a hole lot of time. Everyone you envy here went trough all of that. A slow, mostly painful but very rewarding process of evolving. If you want to be a good drawer you're in for a lot of that. And the more you cut yourself low, the more painful it will get. Stop that. Your work is decent at least and your ideas are often very good. And if you want another style, then do it.
If you like, i'll visit you and help you, but most you'll just have to do yourself.
And it's really: If at first you don't succeed, sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice! Have you tried sacrificing somebody yet? ;P
P.S.: Sorry for the harsch tone, but really... I think it had to be said that way.
I see, you not only look like Jesus. Your advice leaves just that much impact. XD
Aren't telling me news here, honestly. I know what things are like. I don't expect people like zen being born with a tablet in their paws. It IS work, it CAN be sped up, but it HAS to be practiced... But still, the problems still remain the same. At this point I actually managed to shake most occurrings of envy off whenever they happen.
I know, that there are a lot of people that are way better than me, naturally. I get their submission messages everyday. But I also know, that there are artists not as good as me. Artists that, eventually, might even look up to me. Isn't that worth something too, one has to ask himself... And if that doesn't work I still can resolve to adding the fact, that most talented artists tend to whore themselves to the masses with gratuitious amounts of dicks and vags, hammering out comm after comm for ridiculous prizes.. making... sh*tloads of mon...
*grinds teeth*
Okay, bad example...
But you're right, I AM doing it wrong... The point is, what AM I doing wrong. I think it's not only envy towards other artists... It also is my motivation. Motivation is present (amount is arguable), but my motivation has shifted pretty hard in the last years, as I wrote. I think that it is essential, that I find back to my old love of drawing... and ditch a few of those damn time-consuming games.
Sacrifices require gods... Therefore, I think it's pretty much a no-deal. Well, I guess i'll just release the goat boy from my basement when I come home...
Thanks for another semi-successful attempt to beat sense into my head :D
Yes, they do. But then again one can argue if that really is art and if or if not this is the thing you want to do. I think art is a way of expressing oneself. A way free of the more basic instincts like hunger or sexuality. Not better, don't get me wrong, just different. Of course you can mix art and erotic (emphasizing the beauty of the body), but when making guys fap is the only visible intention of a drawing/ painting... then it stops being art and becomes porn.
Porn ain't a bad thing. I look at a lot of Porn and I do like it. But it has an entirely different purpose. Porn makes me hot, art reassures to me that there is beauty in the world. It leaves a much greater impact on a much smaller group of people. If you want many people to know your name, do porn. But if you want to really give people something more than a boner for a few minutes, stay with art.
Well, yes. Envy and lack of motivation. They go well together and get really effective. Oh, your perception of yourself helps to. It's one of those funny little circles.
->Hey, this guy is better than me...
->I'm not as good
->I suck, what's the use of trying?
->I'd rather do something else right now.
->Let's watch some other artists for inspiration...
->Hey this guy is better than me...
Feel free to copy and paste for as long as you want.
The funny thing is: You're lying to yourself there. Of course, you'll have to practice to get that good. You don't in any way suck. The use of trying is to get better in what you do and to express yourself and have some fun drawing.
Your welcome and I'm not done yet ;)