Great One Liners!

1.I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

2.I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3.Few women admit there age; few men act it.

4.He who laughs last thinks slowest.

5.Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

6.Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.

8.You can't have everything; where would you put it?

9.I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

10.I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

11.Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

12.Don't steal. The government hates competition.

13.The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.

14.I can handle pain until it hurts.

15.This statment is false.

16.Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

17.A day without sunshine is like night.

18.Nobody's perfect. I'm a nobody.

19.Ask me about my vow of silence.

20.If at first you don't succees, don't try skydiving.

21.If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

22.Who is "General Failure" and why is he reading my hard disk?

23. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

24.I didn't use to finish sentences, but now I

25.Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.