DEAR MAO-SAMA,

I DON'T REALLY KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU THIS, BUT THE MAFIA WANTS YOU. I THINK I REALIZED IT WHEN YOU PUT CUFFS ON ME IN YOUR CAMPING CAR AND I SAW YOU DRIVE OUT MY FATHER. I'M SURE YOU'RE SENILE ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOUR HONDA SUCKS. I'M RETURNING YOUR MEMORIES FROM THE MILITARY SERVICE, BUT I'LL KEEP THE RESULTS OF YOUR BLOOD SAMPLE AS A MEMORY. YOU SHOULD ALSO KNOW THAT I GET SICK WHEN I THINK OF THE INCARNATION AS AN ESKIMO.

WITH EASE,
WOLFIE

(ripped off from  grannysgonnagrabya )