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Letting go
16 years ago
General
It's about time I started moving on with my life. I keep trying to convince people that I'm not a child anymore, and yet, all I seem to do is prove them right. So, I want this to be one of the first truly mature things I do. Let's hope I don't screw it up too bad.
I'm letting go of it all. All the fear, all the anger, all the sadness you caused me... I'm letting go. All is forgiven. I can't keep this kind of stuff bottled up anymore, and it's really not worth it. I don't have the time or energy to stay angry, or to keep hating you.
And I'm definitely not letting you drag me down into a depressive state, even though that's what has been going on for ages. Every time I see something purple, or listen to Savage Garden, or even think about doodling something, the thought of you is there. And it bogs me down, because in truth, I don't want to hate you. I have a wealth of good memories of the times we shared, and in my own way, I'll probably treasure them forever.
However, I can't go on thinking about you everyday, even in the good way. I have to keep moving forward, but my heart and mind are still shackled to the past. So, I'm letting go of practically everything that ties us together. The hate, the sorrow, the unspoken words... None of it matters now. They're painful parts of a past that can't exist in the future I have planned out for myself.
There's only one thing for certain that I'm clinging onto for good, and that's what originally drew me to you: my love of your artwork. I never stopped respecting you as an artist, and still have the original copy of that cute picture you gave me. It must be pretty special if it hasn't been burned yet.
So, it's done. You no longer have any power over me. I wouldn't be against starting over, as friends. It probably won't happen for months, or even years, but if you ever find it in you to forgive me for the things I've done, I promise not to make the same mistakes again.
I'm letting go of it all. All the fear, all the anger, all the sadness you caused me... I'm letting go. All is forgiven. I can't keep this kind of stuff bottled up anymore, and it's really not worth it. I don't have the time or energy to stay angry, or to keep hating you.
And I'm definitely not letting you drag me down into a depressive state, even though that's what has been going on for ages. Every time I see something purple, or listen to Savage Garden, or even think about doodling something, the thought of you is there. And it bogs me down, because in truth, I don't want to hate you. I have a wealth of good memories of the times we shared, and in my own way, I'll probably treasure them forever.
However, I can't go on thinking about you everyday, even in the good way. I have to keep moving forward, but my heart and mind are still shackled to the past. So, I'm letting go of practically everything that ties us together. The hate, the sorrow, the unspoken words... None of it matters now. They're painful parts of a past that can't exist in the future I have planned out for myself.
There's only one thing for certain that I'm clinging onto for good, and that's what originally drew me to you: my love of your artwork. I never stopped respecting you as an artist, and still have the original copy of that cute picture you gave me. It must be pretty special if it hasn't been burned yet.
So, it's done. You no longer have any power over me. I wouldn't be against starting over, as friends. It probably won't happen for months, or even years, but if you ever find it in you to forgive me for the things I've done, I promise not to make the same mistakes again.
