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Fidelity...
15 years ago
This is a header...
I've been a loner nearly my entire life. I'm no expert on long-term relationships. But if I ever do find myself in one, this is how it's going to be...
I'm a gay guy whose tastes tend to run toward the bear types, so I'm in a tiny minority as people go. But I'm still old-fashioned and no-nonsense. I don't two-time, I don't swing. If I'm with someone, I gonna stick with that someone until the relationship ends or one of us dies. That's it.
But I allow for a little flexibility. This world is hard on gay guys. We want to be loved just like everyone else, but you know what they say when a straight guy is going through psychological hell because he just broke up with his long-time girlfriend? They say, "There's plenty of other fish in the sea." Which is true. That isn't always what the broken-hearted straight guy wants to hear, but it is the truth.
The trouble for us gay guys is, the other-fish-in-the-sea sentiment applies to us as well, but we don't have a sea to swim through. At best, we have a lake. Those who live in rural areas might have a pond, if they're lucky. There aren't plenty of fish to choose from, basically.
So when we're looking for love, we're more desperate and less finicky. And that clouds our judgment. I dare say that's a big part of the reason why the HIV and AIDS rates among us are so high -- we're so starved for love, we aren't always in our right minds when we think we've found some (not to mention why the attempted and committed suicide rates among us are so high when we're convinced we'll never find any).
So, having said all that, should I hook up with someone who may or may not be the bear of my dreams, I just want to say this...
He's allowed to see other guys/bears/whatever while he's attached to me. By "allowed," I mean: he can go on dinner dates with them while I stay home, he can have a few drinks at the bar with them and not me, he can hold them in his arms, he can kiss them, he can touch their bodies and they can touch his, he can get naked with them, he can even exchange handjobs with them -- all while I'm away. Fun is fun, life is short, we're all gay, and we need all the releases we can find. Have at it.
This is where I draw the line: the minute I find out that my bear or the dude he's been playing around with has stuck his cock into the other, our relationship is over.
In fact, those two will be lucky if I elect not to kill them both. Discussion over.
That's my idea of fidelity.
My 2 cents...
I'm a gay guy whose tastes tend to run toward the bear types, so I'm in a tiny minority as people go. But I'm still old-fashioned and no-nonsense. I don't two-time, I don't swing. If I'm with someone, I gonna stick with that someone until the relationship ends or one of us dies. That's it.
But I allow for a little flexibility. This world is hard on gay guys. We want to be loved just like everyone else, but you know what they say when a straight guy is going through psychological hell because he just broke up with his long-time girlfriend? They say, "There's plenty of other fish in the sea." Which is true. That isn't always what the broken-hearted straight guy wants to hear, but it is the truth.
The trouble for us gay guys is, the other-fish-in-the-sea sentiment applies to us as well, but we don't have a sea to swim through. At best, we have a lake. Those who live in rural areas might have a pond, if they're lucky. There aren't plenty of fish to choose from, basically.
So when we're looking for love, we're more desperate and less finicky. And that clouds our judgment. I dare say that's a big part of the reason why the HIV and AIDS rates among us are so high -- we're so starved for love, we aren't always in our right minds when we think we've found some (not to mention why the attempted and committed suicide rates among us are so high when we're convinced we'll never find any).
So, having said all that, should I hook up with someone who may or may not be the bear of my dreams, I just want to say this...
He's allowed to see other guys/bears/whatever while he's attached to me. By "allowed," I mean: he can go on dinner dates with them while I stay home, he can have a few drinks at the bar with them and not me, he can hold them in his arms, he can kiss them, he can touch their bodies and they can touch his, he can get naked with them, he can even exchange handjobs with them -- all while I'm away. Fun is fun, life is short, we're all gay, and we need all the releases we can find. Have at it.
This is where I draw the line: the minute I find out that my bear or the dude he's been playing around with has stuck his cock into the other, our relationship is over.
In fact, those two will be lucky if I elect not to kill them both. Discussion over.
That's my idea of fidelity.
My 2 cents...
If a partner wants to go experiment with someone else, then by all means, what I can't provide I hope someone else can. What I can't tolerate is when partners get emotionally attached to someone else - that's when it gets really nasty.
Each to their own, though.