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Might be my last day here...ever..
15 years ago
Loves is like candy...it's not always sweet...
(sighes) Major drama in my end...I might end up facing the streets today...
Here, let me explain;
I'm 20 years old, meaning my parents don't have to keep me under their roof, but they do.
But they gave me three options I can stay at the house are these;
1. Go to school. (miss my chance to submit the stupid FAFSA, so had to miss this spring semester of school)
2. Get a job. (which is really hard due to the economy)
3. Take care of your little brother at school. (he has some behavior/social issues)
Okay, so basically, I was doing #3 because mainly my brother has behaviour issues (he's six, and in the first grade). So my parents gave me the job of going to his school and literally sticking to him like glue the whole freakin' day, everyday. Which is like volunteering in exchange of staying at home for free.
Okay, well today, I choose not to go because today was my mom's b-day, and I decided to go buy her something, thinking that my brother can behave for at least a few hours (short day), and I can later show up for the rest of the school day. Well out of all days, he chooses to screw up and hit another kid (who I know/observed that likes to taunt my brother, who will always react violently) and got suspended.
So the school calls my mom at work.
Now my mom is diabetic, and gets sick easily when her blood pressure rises.
And not only that, it's her birthday.
So can you imagine how she felt when she received that call earlier to be told that her son is going to be suspended? The first thing she did was ask for me, only to be told that I wasn't there.
So she calls me just as I'm browsing at the Flower shop, asking where the hell was I. Instantly figuring something must have happened at the school, I quickly told her I was out, only managing to piss her off even more before yelling at me about my brother's situation.
So she basically continues to scream over the phone how it's my fault that this happened, and I could have prevented it if I was there (which is really true, and I'm still at this very moment kicking myself for it).
Then she tells me "I'm going to tell your dad." And she sends him a text, even after I plead for her not to.
Now this is what totally had me feeling like someone had punched me in the stomach.
My dad is a very hard strict man. He's fair at times, but basically already wants me out of the house since he says I'm just screwing around and not taking life seriously.
I mean, he even gets mad when he gets home to find the house a mess, to be yelling at me that why didn't I clean up or have my siblings help me. Hello, I'm not even at home during the day and he expects me to have the house clean and sparkly with dinner ready in two hours? And with my siblings to help me, that's another matter.
So this normally always ends with him either vocally or physically threaten to kick me out into the streets.
So with this suspension (which is my brother's second, the first being in December), this is what might end up having me thrown out.
(sighes) I'm so pathetic...and to be honest, frightened.
Sure, I have a few friends I can go to to stay for a while, but I don't want to impose on them with my problems.
And as for my other family, they have their lives and families too.
That, and if I even think of living with my Grandmother, my uncles will probably try to force me out.
So if I don't write a journal tomorrow, then there you go, you now know I'm no longer welcome in my own home.
-KT
Here, let me explain;
I'm 20 years old, meaning my parents don't have to keep me under their roof, but they do.
But they gave me three options I can stay at the house are these;
1. Go to school. (miss my chance to submit the stupid FAFSA, so had to miss this spring semester of school)
2. Get a job. (which is really hard due to the economy)
3. Take care of your little brother at school. (he has some behavior/social issues)
Okay, so basically, I was doing #3 because mainly my brother has behaviour issues (he's six, and in the first grade). So my parents gave me the job of going to his school and literally sticking to him like glue the whole freakin' day, everyday. Which is like volunteering in exchange of staying at home for free.
Okay, well today, I choose not to go because today was my mom's b-day, and I decided to go buy her something, thinking that my brother can behave for at least a few hours (short day), and I can later show up for the rest of the school day. Well out of all days, he chooses to screw up and hit another kid (who I know/observed that likes to taunt my brother, who will always react violently) and got suspended.
So the school calls my mom at work.
Now my mom is diabetic, and gets sick easily when her blood pressure rises.
And not only that, it's her birthday.
So can you imagine how she felt when she received that call earlier to be told that her son is going to be suspended? The first thing she did was ask for me, only to be told that I wasn't there.
So she calls me just as I'm browsing at the Flower shop, asking where the hell was I. Instantly figuring something must have happened at the school, I quickly told her I was out, only managing to piss her off even more before yelling at me about my brother's situation.
So she basically continues to scream over the phone how it's my fault that this happened, and I could have prevented it if I was there (which is really true, and I'm still at this very moment kicking myself for it).
Then she tells me "I'm going to tell your dad." And she sends him a text, even after I plead for her not to.
Now this is what totally had me feeling like someone had punched me in the stomach.
My dad is a very hard strict man. He's fair at times, but basically already wants me out of the house since he says I'm just screwing around and not taking life seriously.
I mean, he even gets mad when he gets home to find the house a mess, to be yelling at me that why didn't I clean up or have my siblings help me. Hello, I'm not even at home during the day and he expects me to have the house clean and sparkly with dinner ready in two hours? And with my siblings to help me, that's another matter.
So this normally always ends with him either vocally or physically threaten to kick me out into the streets.
So with this suspension (which is my brother's second, the first being in December), this is what might end up having me thrown out.
(sighes) I'm so pathetic...and to be honest, frightened.
Sure, I have a few friends I can go to to stay for a while, but I don't want to impose on them with my problems.
And as for my other family, they have their lives and families too.
That, and if I even think of living with my Grandmother, my uncles will probably try to force me out.
So if I don't write a journal tomorrow, then there you go, you now know I'm no longer welcome in my own home.
-KT
You will surely be missed KT.... I hope things turn out better for ya =/
That hurts, man, and quite skew. Well, I've been experiencing some bad stuff since morning, but not as brutal as yours. Can't you ask them for another punishment, like at least get work instead? Also, say sorry. That might help. I was in a bad mood with my mom and she was ranting for 3 hours. When I decided to say that I was sorry, she cooled down a bit.
Plus, they're your parents. I'm sure they'll think about it more than just resolve to kickin' you out~