I am now a part of the United States Army. My MOS is 86D, Explosive Ordinance Disposal Specialist.

Here's the shitty part. I ship out next Thursday. I really, really didn't want to go so soon, but I guess it's what I'm gonna have to do.

Here's another shitty part: I have no bonuses. Since I had a GED instead of a diploma, I had to take some shitty personality test which I apparently failed. So, no $40K. Fuck.

I've got a lot to do in the coming week. A lot of drinking. A lot of partying, and a lot of sex that I know I won't get. "The sex you want, you don't get. The sex you get, you don't want."

Dad bought me shit to make Liquid Cocaines. We're going to get fucked up Friday night. Saturday night, I'm going to take what's left and I'm going to party over at Blair's place as my "going away" party.

Also, I demand giftarts of me doing my job: blowing shit up. Bomb-de-bomb. Bomba.