Okay, so I don't know how many of you guys are aware of it but I've been with Ryan since I was 16. We were engaged, he called the wedding off because he's not ready, and now I'm approaching 22 years old and we have split up.

This is something I wanted ultimately because I knew that I deserved better than what he was ever willing to give me - I need emotional support beyond what he can offer.

The way that I found out things were through was from mutual friends. And I think this is what honestly hurts me the most. He told a friend we were done, and that friend in turn told all of our friends and they came and told me what was being said.

Since I cannot get a hold of him personally and get him to sit down like an adult with me, we had it out through text messages and half way through the conversation he swaps from being defensive to 'You deserve better' and 'I guess I'm not any good at relationships'


Im just at a loss. I wanted this break up, I knew I needed it, but there is still such a well of just anger and pain in me that almost scares me. I shouldn't be so broken up and I shouldn't be so angry but I am and I do not know how to let go. I just don't.

I hate turning to people but I've picked up my phone so many times to try talking to people that....by all rights I should not bother, and I guess I'm just looking for help. I don't honestly know at this point.

Five and a half years and it comes down to highschool esque gossip and a damn text message breakup. ugh.