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I may have once loved...
16 years ago
General
I think that I may once have loved someone. and... I really miss her. but she's half the world away. I would have done anything for her, I still would. I would have smiled in the face of death if she was even in the same building. I would have given everything for her. but what did I do? I remained silent and I kept my emotions sealed in a little glass ball. When she left she was crying, what did I do??! I gave her a one armed hug and told her it would be alright! WHAT THE HELL KIND OF GOODBYE IS THAT!? I missed her when she left and to this day I still miss her. I wanted to tell her how I felt but did I? NO! The point is, even with her I don't know if I ever loved her, I want to say I did, and still do. but how would I know?
The sooner you can utter the words yes you do, or no you don't, the sooner you'll know how to move forward.
From what you've expressed in your journal, from personal belief, i think you're in love with her.
My boyfriend almost did what you did. He was in love with me for five years and did nothing about it, then on the last year of high school, on my birthday, he asked me out and i said yes. We've been happy ever since
I hope that you find her one day and that she makes you just as happy as i seem to have made my guy
Good luck :3 xxx