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Words to live by...
19 years ago
Just the other day our house got a new BBQ. You know the kind: the standard single rack gas-propane job now appearing in you local Loblaws or other supermarket that has the words blazened on it "EASY TO ASSEMBLE".
As anyone knows that a 45 min assembly time the instructions announce has no bearing on the real world. In the real world it takes 3 hours to assemble it, if you take in account the short break to straighten you knees out from squating and un-kinking your back for being in an odd position trying to screw things in at inhumanly angles. Not to mention disassembling and reassembling part of it becuase the illustration in step 4 is wrong and does not agree with step 5.
The part I like most about in the assembly book though was the saftey instructions for "YOUR NEW GAS GRILL"
"2. The use of achohol, percription or non-percription drugs may impair an individual's ability to properly assemble or safely operate this appliance."
Translation: Do not attempt build or use this BBQ drunk or stoned. "Gee Bob I guess I shouldn't have tried lighting it with a Roman Candle..."
Yep. Words to live by.
As anyone knows that a 45 min assembly time the instructions announce has no bearing on the real world. In the real world it takes 3 hours to assemble it, if you take in account the short break to straighten you knees out from squating and un-kinking your back for being in an odd position trying to screw things in at inhumanly angles. Not to mention disassembling and reassembling part of it becuase the illustration in step 4 is wrong and does not agree with step 5.
The part I like most about in the assembly book though was the saftey instructions for "YOUR NEW GAS GRILL"
"2. The use of achohol, percription or non-percription drugs may impair an individual's ability to properly assemble or safely operate this appliance."
Translation: Do not attempt build or use this BBQ drunk or stoned. "Gee Bob I guess I shouldn't have tried lighting it with a Roman Candle..."
Yep. Words to live by.
-Z
(Which is easier if they come on glossy paper.)
Any REAL man came with the genetic encoding neccisary to put the thing together with his bare hands and ducktape. and all the left over parts make great fishing lures.
(Not responcible for loss of eyebrows, limbs or life. do not follow my advice. do not read my advice. Contact a certifide gas grill tecn before attempting ANY BBQ activity. Do not opperate if pregnent, fertal, trying to get regnent, ever hope to be pregnent, or breathing. Keep out of the reach of small children. Do not injest.)
Please enjoy you new grill.
(Do not engage in sexual activity with grill, grill tools, propane bottle, or instructions. WARNING: grill has been linked to cancer in labrotory rats. So has tap water.)