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Just a Pawn...
15 years ago
I'm just a pawn. Something to fulfill the instinctive needs of others. A victim to human nature.
To other boys, I'm just a virgin ass they can fuck...
To girls, I'm their damn tissue and pool to dump their miseries and woes in...
To my family, I'm just an asset; money for them from taxes...
To my school, I'm just a face to give them more money; they use me to get a better rep...
To my country, I'm a pawn; they can care less if they lose me in a game of chess. I'm just a fucking decoy...
What irks me most is the idea of being a sex toy. "Oh, he's a virgin... I don't care if he's taken, I wanna ram his ass." Rid of my hopes to have a romantic first, rather than a lustful fulfillment.
Why s human nature so? To toy with the weak, and use them fr lust.They're nice to you, but all they really want is to stick their dick in you fucking ass. "Oh you care for my feelings? My struggles? My anguishes?" "... nope. Just wanna fuck."
I will never forget that. Never. Not from one person, but from several, with different variations.
I sicken myself, knowing that this lust also lies within e. Sure, it's human nature, but knowing tat I could manipulate a poor soul just to fulfill my needs?... Tch... if this is human nature, then I want no part of it.
Throughout history, there's evidence of lust, not just sexual. For land, for money, for resources. This ends in fighting, and the bystanders suffer. As the saying goes: "When the rich [lustful] wage war, it's the poor [victims] who die."
... I feel sick of myself for having these traits. Lust. Manipulation. The ability to hurt an innocent soul, as has happened to me many times
... the thought of my boyfriend having been fucked in various ways before, and being told this... jealousy... envy... anger... I regret asking the details...
Why does human nature torture us so?!.... I don't want it anymore... I want it to go away... I hate it. I hate myself for having ownership of it... i can't live with the consistency of this nature... the ability to hurt, the ability to be hurt, and the thoughts of loved ones and their lust... like a dagger to my heart...
I want it to go away...
I can't live with it anymore..
The one who prevented me from the realities of human nature... is dead. He's been dead. The one I called a cousin. The one I wanted to be... He's gone...
... please... make the thoughts stop... make them go away... I need a savior...
To other boys, I'm just a virgin ass they can fuck...
To girls, I'm their damn tissue and pool to dump their miseries and woes in...
To my family, I'm just an asset; money for them from taxes...
To my school, I'm just a face to give them more money; they use me to get a better rep...
To my country, I'm a pawn; they can care less if they lose me in a game of chess. I'm just a fucking decoy...
What irks me most is the idea of being a sex toy. "Oh, he's a virgin... I don't care if he's taken, I wanna ram his ass." Rid of my hopes to have a romantic first, rather than a lustful fulfillment.
Why s human nature so? To toy with the weak, and use them fr lust.They're nice to you, but all they really want is to stick their dick in you fucking ass. "Oh you care for my feelings? My struggles? My anguishes?" "... nope. Just wanna fuck."
I will never forget that. Never. Not from one person, but from several, with different variations.
I sicken myself, knowing that this lust also lies within e. Sure, it's human nature, but knowing tat I could manipulate a poor soul just to fulfill my needs?... Tch... if this is human nature, then I want no part of it.
Throughout history, there's evidence of lust, not just sexual. For land, for money, for resources. This ends in fighting, and the bystanders suffer. As the saying goes: "When the rich [lustful] wage war, it's the poor [victims] who die."
... I feel sick of myself for having these traits. Lust. Manipulation. The ability to hurt an innocent soul, as has happened to me many times
... the thought of my boyfriend having been fucked in various ways before, and being told this... jealousy... envy... anger... I regret asking the details...
Why does human nature torture us so?!.... I don't want it anymore... I want it to go away... I hate it. I hate myself for having ownership of it... i can't live with the consistency of this nature... the ability to hurt, the ability to be hurt, and the thoughts of loved ones and their lust... like a dagger to my heart...
I want it to go away...
I can't live with it anymore..
The one who prevented me from the realities of human nature... is dead. He's been dead. The one I called a cousin. The one I wanted to be... He's gone...
... please... make the thoughts stop... make them go away... I need a savior...
I'll lissen and I'll do what I can. Alex was a cool friend of mine who I still owe a favor. I can at least do this much for his memory.
Me? I lust for sure, but in a way that won't bring harm to those I care about. You can join this club if you like, the lifetime membership is free
Me? I lust for sure, but in a way that won't bring harm to those I care about. You can join this club if you like, the lifetime membership is free
Anyways~ I hope that by now you've managed to overcome some of these issues. I to know what it's like being a virgin -.-; I've had several people openly think those things about me too.
Hope you're doing better hun. And if you ever just want a friendly kitteh to talk to, just PM me :3