Its way past midnight and I am having a hard time falling asleep. And there is a reason for alot of sleeping problems as of late...........

Within a for days it will be the month of April, and that month has a dark moment in my life. Nine years ago, I lost a good friend of mine and I learned the truth the hard way. I met her at the beginning of the winter of 2000, she was short of two dollars and I offered it to her and she tackle glomp me to the ground and wanted to get married. And that is how we first met and became friends. It was on a monday, April 2001, when there was no school and I was hanging out with my friends at a center near the church. I was pulled aside and was informed that his friend died on saturday from drug overdose. So we basically took him out and did stuff to keep his mind busy and what not. It was when we got back to the center that I learned that the person that died was her, Tessa. The moment I heard that, my entire world stopped and was destroyed on the spot.

It was at that moment that I was experiencing the pain of losing a friend. It wasn't her death that bothers me, it was something that I couldn't do..........

two days later after hearing the news, the principle of our school let the students have the option of going to her funeral that was beginning held. I couldn't go, making up the excuse that I had alot of assignments to catch up. But in truth, I didn't want to go because if I did, then I would have to accept the fact that she really is gone. At that moment,I didn't want to believe and like on that day, I hid myself and balled my eyes out.

That is one of the few regrets of my life, and I know I more or less deserve it for being a coward...............

Since then I have been dealing with this feeling and still searching of where she is buried. Even if I don't find it, I will still look for it.

In a bit, I will post a fic that I wrote a few weeks after that time which is a memorial; if anyone out there is even looking at my page ^^u