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FAIL
15 years ago
General
Before this vent starts I'll let you know that I am goiung to FWA and I'm lining up my suit stuff on my bed to take a look at what is there. Only a tail is done but I can fur the hind hooves at the con. I'm leaving what I wrote an hour ago to show how bad my state of mind was. Right now it's just exhaustion.
For three months I've worked so many eight hour, twelve hour days. Perhaps just one more day without sleep and I would have had a partial. For many hours I payed bills, did laundry, even cleaned a bathroom for two friends that were supposed to help me with my work but didn't. Perhaps that time could have helped. The last time I tried really hard for a suit was MFM 2000. I almost had a partial. Someone who didn't like me being furry threw that away.
I just wanted to show some furs that I have some creative ability, perhaps get a hug or two, and for someone to notice me. I really wanted to show something to a few artists who I've gotten to know over the last year of waiting for the commissions they're doing for me. They happen to be coming to FWA.
I went into a bit of debt with all the last minute materials, delivery instead of cooking to save time, etc., It would have been worth it too. I bought all this stuff to give away and today I allowed myself to ruin some important stuff in the interest of getting a partial done.
OK, enough complaining. I may still drive down the street to FWA and at least check into my room. I need to sleep sometime and I trashed my house over a few months of frantic suit-making. It would be nice to be somewhere clean.
Please don't think I'm lazy since I can't ever seem to finish fursuit things. I tried very very hard to get stuff done. I think all of the things that are almost done are awesome. Maybe I'll post some pics after I take a week or two to be quiet. It's hard for me to think about having to wait a year for the next FWA. I was really hoping someone would maybe see a pic of my suit somewhere and that person be someone who might take an interest in me. I can't think of any other way to try for that.
Not understanding this stuff too well, my mom suggested I rent a suit. Well, now I really wish I had just for the experience of wearing something.
I don't want people to think of me as a drag or bring anyone down but I can't help being depressed right now. I'm afraid of showing up at FWA like this. I'm shy and I want to exist in the furry community. I want people to think of me as a nice person and a fun person. With much effort I've met more furs in the last year. ...but I want to be someone who means something for other furs, and suit stuff seems to be a way I could get to know people better.
OK, sorry for the dump.
For three months I've worked so many eight hour, twelve hour days. Perhaps just one more day without sleep and I would have had a partial. For many hours I payed bills, did laundry, even cleaned a bathroom for two friends that were supposed to help me with my work but didn't. Perhaps that time could have helped. The last time I tried really hard for a suit was MFM 2000. I almost had a partial. Someone who didn't like me being furry threw that away.
I just wanted to show some furs that I have some creative ability, perhaps get a hug or two, and for someone to notice me. I really wanted to show something to a few artists who I've gotten to know over the last year of waiting for the commissions they're doing for me. They happen to be coming to FWA.
I went into a bit of debt with all the last minute materials, delivery instead of cooking to save time, etc., It would have been worth it too. I bought all this stuff to give away and today I allowed myself to ruin some important stuff in the interest of getting a partial done.
OK, enough complaining. I may still drive down the street to FWA and at least check into my room. I need to sleep sometime and I trashed my house over a few months of frantic suit-making. It would be nice to be somewhere clean.
Please don't think I'm lazy since I can't ever seem to finish fursuit things. I tried very very hard to get stuff done. I think all of the things that are almost done are awesome. Maybe I'll post some pics after I take a week or two to be quiet. It's hard for me to think about having to wait a year for the next FWA. I was really hoping someone would maybe see a pic of my suit somewhere and that person be someone who might take an interest in me. I can't think of any other way to try for that.
Not understanding this stuff too well, my mom suggested I rent a suit. Well, now I really wish I had just for the experience of wearing something.
I don't want people to think of me as a drag or bring anyone down but I can't help being depressed right now. I'm afraid of showing up at FWA like this. I'm shy and I want to exist in the furry community. I want people to think of me as a nice person and a fun person. With much effort I've met more furs in the last year. ...but I want to be someone who means something for other furs, and suit stuff seems to be a way I could get to know people better.
OK, sorry for the dump.
*snug* Hope you have fun!