Guys, I have a huge secret. And I have sat on it for FAR too long. No longer able to keep it in, I must finally reveal it to the world:

My supposed long-time archrival, that scalawag and neerdowell nottube is, in fact, a fabrication, a nom de plume. He and I are one and the same. I know this must come as a terrible shock to some of you, considering how often I have complained about his miscreancy and shenanigans, but that was all just a clever ruse meant to deceive you, to convince you that we were different people. We are not.

I wish I could say I'm sorry for having tricked everyone for so long, but I'm not, because it was super-fun pulling the wool over all your eyes.

Suckers.