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Finally Found It
15 years ago
General
It has been along time since I wrote anything here ^^u between being busy with work and classes, its no surprised huh.
Well last night I found a answer to that something that has been bugging me for a long time. If people who have been reading my journals for a long time know about what happened with the whole Sa-chen incident. While I have been long over what has happened, there was one question in my mind that has been plaguing me for the longest time.
Why?
Why did Sa-chan and Courts acted the way they did, and why was Sa-chan 'afraid' of me? Since that happened, I have been trying to figure out what I did or something that made them acted the way they did. Well last night I was with my female friends and was watching Ouran High School Host Club. Since Sa-chan liked that show alot and Haruhi reminded me of Sa-chan, I thought about all that happened, good and bad, when the answer came to me.
Perhaps because I was too good to be true.
What I mean by that is I try to be who I am in real life while I am online. Since there are alot of 'bad' people who use the internet for the wrong reasons, I try to be at least the part where I am who I am, being honest and so on. So between keeping in touch with them from time to time and even going as far as to writing a Yaoi fiction to show my feelings, they might have feared that I am not who I am and thus this whole thing started. It may not be the truth or the answer to what I am looking for, but this one seems as close to what may have been the reason.
And this is more proof of my feelings about them. While I was hurt, betrayed and even anger at the whole situation; in all honesty I never was angry nor hate them back then and even now. I think it is pointless to hate or be angry at someone when fear and paranoia cloud their eyes from what is really in front of them. Even now, I still hope for the best of them and hope that maybe one day, somewhere down the line, if our paths do cross again; that maybe we can be friends again.
Well last night I found a answer to that something that has been bugging me for a long time. If people who have been reading my journals for a long time know about what happened with the whole Sa-chen incident. While I have been long over what has happened, there was one question in my mind that has been plaguing me for the longest time.
Why?
Why did Sa-chan and Courts acted the way they did, and why was Sa-chan 'afraid' of me? Since that happened, I have been trying to figure out what I did or something that made them acted the way they did. Well last night I was with my female friends and was watching Ouran High School Host Club. Since Sa-chan liked that show alot and Haruhi reminded me of Sa-chan, I thought about all that happened, good and bad, when the answer came to me.
Perhaps because I was too good to be true.
What I mean by that is I try to be who I am in real life while I am online. Since there are alot of 'bad' people who use the internet for the wrong reasons, I try to be at least the part where I am who I am, being honest and so on. So between keeping in touch with them from time to time and even going as far as to writing a Yaoi fiction to show my feelings, they might have feared that I am not who I am and thus this whole thing started. It may not be the truth or the answer to what I am looking for, but this one seems as close to what may have been the reason.
And this is more proof of my feelings about them. While I was hurt, betrayed and even anger at the whole situation; in all honesty I never was angry nor hate them back then and even now. I think it is pointless to hate or be angry at someone when fear and paranoia cloud their eyes from what is really in front of them. Even now, I still hope for the best of them and hope that maybe one day, somewhere down the line, if our paths do cross again; that maybe we can be friends again.
