So today, I was out walking, when I saw a fawn (baby deer) standing in this mud pool thing down in a ditch with it's head sticking into some grass, apparently eating something or drinking water or something by the noises it was making. It wasn't spooked by my presence and I came to find out it didn't take any notice of me no matter how much noise I made. Occasionally it's tail would wag like crazy and then just stop. This seemed random and unrelated to anything I did. I got within 4 or 5 feet of it, but no closer (because I'm not stupid). I threw a tiny pebble into the water to splash it to see if it would respond at all. Still nothing. I yelled, hollered, made all kinds of noise just a few feet from it and it didn't seem to notice or care. I didn't really know the symptoms of rabies beyond the stereotypical mouth foaming and anger, but this thing is definitely sick and the only thing I know that makes animals act fucking weird like that is rabies. I came back a few hours later and it was still in the same spot licking at the water or mud or whatever. But then it started to walk to another part of the muddy pond. I was kind of happy, because that could either mean it's okay or, if it is sick, it wouldn't die so close to my house and stink up the place. I saw it's face and it looked right past me (but not at me), and it had the most "out of it" look. It dragged it's face through the water, blowing bubbles and such like it wasn't aware that it's face was even under water. It then started licking at another patch of mud. It was really creepy to see such a mangy animal so completely unaware of my presence and that showed no apparent awareness of it's surroundings.

A few hours after that, I came back and didn't see it right away. I thought "Oh, good, it's gone" but nope. It was laying in the pond balled up like it was a bed, ready to go to sleep. It was still alive for sure, but it was balled up, ready to go to sleep in this filthy, snakey cesspool. It was raining a few hours ago and it's dark out now. It's creepy, but more than that, it's just crushingly sad. I do wish I could do something for it. I mean, it seems pretty obvious that it's going to die no matter what, because it definitely has some really fucked up disease. But it would be nice if it wasn't in the dark, without anyone or anything to comfort it in it's fucked up last, miserable hours of life as it sleeps in a mudpool. That's just not a right way to go. And this thing is less than 100 feet away from me in my nice, warm, well lit home. I mean, I called animal control, publicly because I don't want a dead deer stinking up the area and grossing me out, but privately because I sort of hoped that, maybe, they would be able to take it out of that damn cesspool and into somewhere more comfortable and maybe put it down humanely or something. But no such luck.

I understand the whole "circle of life" and all of that lion king jazz, but it's just a really fucked up way to go. I just hope that, since it was too fucked up to even notice I was there, that's it's too fucked up to really be suffering in any way.