Time is a cruel teacher
It forces you to accept
what you do not wish to see...
to believe what you reject...
and exploits your deepest fears

I know no one reads this.....and I don't really give a fuck anyway.

I learned something about myself the past couple months. I don't deserve what I have. My friends....my family....my wife....any of it.

No, if anyone even gives a fuck, I'm not suicidal. As tempting as the thought currently is....I'm to much of a coward to go through with it. And that's probably for the best....depending on who you ask.

I've got a wife who loves me....yet I seem determined to ruin it. I have a family who cares....but I shut them out. I can't cut in college....I fail everything I start.

Who gives a damn any more?

I can't stop hurting....but I can't make myself start caring again....