So I managed to lose a paycheck in between here and work

A co worker's wedding is galactically being rubbed in my face.

My boyfriends Transmission is going.

I turn 21 in a month.

I'm having more self conflicting issues than I can count on one hand right now.

It feels like everything is falling apart and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. All I can do is stand here and watch and it sucks. All the power I had was taken away when I said sure.

Then on top of that -

A man I had been 'smitten' - seems to be a safe word to use - with for almost 5 years - doesn't remember me at all because the powers that be thought it would just be one more thing on the list. No big thing right?

I feel so detached from everything right now. I hate it all so much. There's nothing I can do to fix a drop of it either. My boyfriend hates the very mention of multiple people I want to have in my life and I can't even have that much because it makes him uncomfortable.

I love this world of shit I've gotten myself into.

I think I'm done bitching for now..