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Sincere words and a retrospective :3
15 years ago
General
Alright folks, it's time for a little announcement :3
It's been almost 3 years now, since I have made my first steps on FA
and I think exactly 3 years now, since my first contact with the fandom ever.
Like most of us, I have been nervous, insecure, naive and easy to manipulate.
The first few (german) furries I have ever met were, with some exceptions,
a big disappiontment and I couldn't have gone worse with my first impression.
So after some experiences with elite-furs,
who hate on everyone who doesn't share their attitude,
typical wannabe-misterious "I am a wolf in a humans body"-furs,
who behave like idiots and those hypocrites who impress newbies
with the bunch of commissions of their character,
they've paid from mommys and daddys money,
just to get a cheap ons out of them (Yes, I have been very naive),
I ended up with a clear attitude towards the majority of the fandom
and my relation to it.
(To whoever feels offended now: I don't give a fuck! x3)
Back then, I had people talking me into things,
people trying to stuff me into patterns of "species"
(I had no fursona / character back then)
and people using my insecurity towards the fandom,
to hold me down and to make me feel like they are better than me
and that I don't belong among them.
Well, these times are over,
I have changed a lot within the last 3 years, since the beginning.
I have made real friends here,
elaborated my own attitude about things and most importantly, found love <3
So in a nutshell:
I became more aware about who I am, what I want and also who I want to be :)
Of course, such changes don't pass you by untouched,
I have morphed mentaly and physicaly
and since my characters/sonas represent parts of my personailty,
it's inevitable for them to change as well.
Those of you, who might remember Joshua,
(my first character) in his original concept,
may have recognized that the physical changes about him already have applied,
and that I have been in constant progress to change and form him.
These changes will find their completion now with a very drastic,
but for me necessary change.
His name will change from "Joshua", to something that represents more of myself,
my likings, my person and makes it more obvious, what I want him to resemble.
It might be hard to change for those of you,
who have constantly known me as Joshua
and some may not like what I made out of him,
but after all ... that is my decision and no one elses
and those of you who know me to a certain extend, will understand ^_^
The second thing I have to announce is,
that I have just completed the making of my second character.
The first image of "Alexey Argyle" has been uploaded yesterday and I am glad,
for the positive reactions on him and his design :)
While Joshua (this is btw. the last time I'll officially call him like that),
is more an abomination of my wishes, feelings and emotions,
Alexey resembles more what I am on the outside.
It is likely, that I will use Alexey from now on more often in pictures
and commissions than Joshua,
for the simple fact that I have a more "practical" connection to him.
Joshua was more a character of the heart and soul, that I needed to express myself,
but Alexey has been created out of the urge,
to show myself as a person and living creature.
On the other hand, he shows my deep link to Ultraviolet, her art and her personality.
She granted me the unique chance to create myself an Ukimori character,
a species she holds very dear as her own creation, by giving up on one of her own.
To express the gratitude I can not express,
I will make him my main character from now on :3
UV and Joshua though, are still mates and will remain like that :3
~ Break! ~
As far as personal changes go, I can say that I am quite happy at the moment ^_^
My 9 month of national service (overwirking for underpayment),
are finaly over and I am free to care a little more about myself.
I have found a place to study what I always wanted,
(Theater and Film) at Utrecht in the Netherlands
and will be living there from the 1st of September on,
after I have passed my dutch language course,
which I will attend to in the Utrecht Summerschool :3
So for all the dutch furs out there (maybe even students),
I'll be joining you soon and if you are interested to help me setting foot,
or even just for saying "hi", you are welcome to contact me, I'd apprechiate it :)
Before all that happens though,
I will fly over to england for the whole month of may,
to spend a good time with my friends before the stress starts ^^;
Phew ... I guess that was all and probably the longest journal I'll ever write x3
Oh ya and sorry for the shitty layout on this, but I guess we all know,
what it's like to write FA journals ... they are mostly kinda hard to read xD
Last thing to say: Alexey, over and out <3
It's been almost 3 years now, since I have made my first steps on FA
and I think exactly 3 years now, since my first contact with the fandom ever.
Like most of us, I have been nervous, insecure, naive and easy to manipulate.
The first few (german) furries I have ever met were, with some exceptions,
a big disappiontment and I couldn't have gone worse with my first impression.
So after some experiences with elite-furs,
who hate on everyone who doesn't share their attitude,
typical wannabe-misterious "I am a wolf in a humans body"-furs,
who behave like idiots and those hypocrites who impress newbies
with the bunch of commissions of their character,
they've paid from mommys and daddys money,
just to get a cheap ons out of them (Yes, I have been very naive),
I ended up with a clear attitude towards the majority of the fandom
and my relation to it.
(To whoever feels offended now: I don't give a fuck! x3)
Back then, I had people talking me into things,
people trying to stuff me into patterns of "species"
(I had no fursona / character back then)
and people using my insecurity towards the fandom,
to hold me down and to make me feel like they are better than me
and that I don't belong among them.
Well, these times are over,
I have changed a lot within the last 3 years, since the beginning.
I have made real friends here,
elaborated my own attitude about things and most importantly, found love <3
So in a nutshell:
I became more aware about who I am, what I want and also who I want to be :)
Of course, such changes don't pass you by untouched,
I have morphed mentaly and physicaly
and since my characters/sonas represent parts of my personailty,
it's inevitable for them to change as well.
Those of you, who might remember Joshua,
(my first character) in his original concept,
may have recognized that the physical changes about him already have applied,
and that I have been in constant progress to change and form him.
These changes will find their completion now with a very drastic,
but for me necessary change.
His name will change from "Joshua", to something that represents more of myself,
my likings, my person and makes it more obvious, what I want him to resemble.
It might be hard to change for those of you,
who have constantly known me as Joshua
and some may not like what I made out of him,
but after all ... that is my decision and no one elses
and those of you who know me to a certain extend, will understand ^_^
The second thing I have to announce is,
that I have just completed the making of my second character.
The first image of "Alexey Argyle" has been uploaded yesterday and I am glad,
for the positive reactions on him and his design :)
While Joshua (this is btw. the last time I'll officially call him like that),
is more an abomination of my wishes, feelings and emotions,
Alexey resembles more what I am on the outside.
It is likely, that I will use Alexey from now on more often in pictures
and commissions than Joshua,
for the simple fact that I have a more "practical" connection to him.
Joshua was more a character of the heart and soul, that I needed to express myself,
but Alexey has been created out of the urge,
to show myself as a person and living creature.
On the other hand, he shows my deep link to Ultraviolet, her art and her personality.
She granted me the unique chance to create myself an Ukimori character,
a species she holds very dear as her own creation, by giving up on one of her own.
To express the gratitude I can not express,
I will make him my main character from now on :3
UV and Joshua though, are still mates and will remain like that :3
~ Break! ~
As far as personal changes go, I can say that I am quite happy at the moment ^_^
My 9 month of national service (overwirking for underpayment),
are finaly over and I am free to care a little more about myself.
I have found a place to study what I always wanted,
(Theater and Film) at Utrecht in the Netherlands
and will be living there from the 1st of September on,
after I have passed my dutch language course,
which I will attend to in the Utrecht Summerschool :3
So for all the dutch furs out there (maybe even students),
I'll be joining you soon and if you are interested to help me setting foot,
or even just for saying "hi", you are welcome to contact me, I'd apprechiate it :)
Before all that happens though,
I will fly over to england for the whole month of may,
to spend a good time with my friends before the stress starts ^^;
Phew ... I guess that was all and probably the longest journal I'll ever write x3
Oh ya and sorry for the shitty layout on this, but I guess we all know,
what it's like to write FA journals ... they are mostly kinda hard to read xD
Last thing to say: Alexey, over and out <3
Well spoken hun. I still remember when I first approached you and we started talking, and the creature you were identifying with at the time. :3
Funny how things happen and how things can change over time.
I am always proud of you love, sincerely. For all that I've seen you do, despite the things that worked against you. And I am honoured, even from the beginning, that you would call me a friend and just as much that you would choose to have a silly girl like me by your side. ^^
To a better future, were our dreams and goals become reality! <3<3