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Question...
18 years ago
General
Whooo... 3 comments on that last journal... that has to be a record... :3
Anyway, enough with 'emo/aggro' journals or randomness... Tonight I bring you an issue that's been pounding on my head for quite a while, now... Opening a little room for discussion here.
A warning... its a long journal... Bear with me...
The 'so-called' "Online Dating" fever...
...something that's been increasing considerably since the Internet became a mainstream service, available to everyone in a LOT of ways.
I trust its no news for any of you out there... the story is usually always the same.
Random Person A has some sort of hobby which leads him/her to become a part of some sort of online community or group, interacting with members of said group.
Soon, Random Person A finds himself/herself feeling 'mysteriously' attracted to someone he/she has never even met in person. This leads to Random Person A and Random Person B to start interacting as intimately as the geographic distance between the two of them allows.
This 'behavior' may take on a considerable number of actions, including but not limited to:
- chat 'flirting', usually on public chatrooms or using any of the 'many' Instant Messaging services available;
- exchanging casual, provocative or even 'erotic' photos and/or video clips, in order to 'get to meet' each other;
- text-Roleplaying romantic and/or sexual encounters a.k.a. RPing a.k.a. sex-chat a.k.a. 'Yiffing', etc. etc.
- Roleplaying romantic and/or sexual encounters through some kind of online virtual reality environment ( SecondLife, WorldsAway, Furcadia, Habbo, etc. etc. )
- PhoneSex, which has been made easier than ever by the inclusion of free peer-to-peer voice-chat on IM programs, or by using dedicated voice-chat services like Skype
- CamSex, made easier by the including video-chat funtions on IM services as well.
- ...and whatever crosses the minds of two people set apart by fate and geography but bonded and drawn together by something a 'little' stronger...
...
So... what?
Mind you, I'm not even 'trying' to criticise online relationships... those who know me well enough know that I'd be one Hypocrite SonofaBitch if I 'did'...
I'm just curious about the 'why' part...
Why do online interactions become so intense after a relatively short time?
Why does it seem that these online 'affairs' become 'much' more intense than they would in 'real life'?
Why is it (and this is for you 'SecondLifers' out there) do people start saying "Oh, you're so sexy" "Oh, you're so beautiful" when all you can see sometimes is a bunch of textured and 3D-engineered PIXELS? (Yes, cuz most people that go to SecondLife don't really show their 'real' face to others)
Once again, don't take me wrong... As far as the whole online relation thing is concerned... Been there, done that... probably gonna be there again, someday...
...you know what they say, 'never say never'...
I know people who have been at this for months, even YEARS... meeting when they can, making plans to move in with each other, hoping, nurturing their feelings the best they can through text, image and sound broadcast through a global data network...
...boy meets boy, boy meets girl, girl meets girl, all kinds of relations have formed over the internet...
...some work...
...some don't...
...some end up in people hating each other and flaming each other for the rest of time...
...some work for a while until the chance to meet in person presents itself... and then the 'magic' is gone...
...some even destroy lives... marriages... jobs...
Is it the thrill of the unknown?
Is it the intense passion and sexual drive of wanting to be with that person whom is far away?
...why?
...and above all...
...why does it seem to hurt more than a RL relation, when its all over?
...
Feel free to comment... or not...
Teh Gon's Two Cents
Anyway, enough with 'emo/aggro' journals or randomness... Tonight I bring you an issue that's been pounding on my head for quite a while, now... Opening a little room for discussion here.
A warning... its a long journal... Bear with me...
The 'so-called' "Online Dating" fever...
...something that's been increasing considerably since the Internet became a mainstream service, available to everyone in a LOT of ways.
I trust its no news for any of you out there... the story is usually always the same.
Random Person A has some sort of hobby which leads him/her to become a part of some sort of online community or group, interacting with members of said group.
Soon, Random Person A finds himself/herself feeling 'mysteriously' attracted to someone he/she has never even met in person. This leads to Random Person A and Random Person B to start interacting as intimately as the geographic distance between the two of them allows.
This 'behavior' may take on a considerable number of actions, including but not limited to:
- chat 'flirting', usually on public chatrooms or using any of the 'many' Instant Messaging services available;
- exchanging casual, provocative or even 'erotic' photos and/or video clips, in order to 'get to meet' each other;
- text-Roleplaying romantic and/or sexual encounters a.k.a. RPing a.k.a. sex-chat a.k.a. 'Yiffing', etc. etc.
- Roleplaying romantic and/or sexual encounters through some kind of online virtual reality environment ( SecondLife, WorldsAway, Furcadia, Habbo, etc. etc. )
- PhoneSex, which has been made easier than ever by the inclusion of free peer-to-peer voice-chat on IM programs, or by using dedicated voice-chat services like Skype
- CamSex, made easier by the including video-chat funtions on IM services as well.
- ...and whatever crosses the minds of two people set apart by fate and geography but bonded and drawn together by something a 'little' stronger...
...
So... what?
Mind you, I'm not even 'trying' to criticise online relationships... those who know me well enough know that I'd be one Hypocrite SonofaBitch if I 'did'...
I'm just curious about the 'why' part...
Why do online interactions become so intense after a relatively short time?
Why does it seem that these online 'affairs' become 'much' more intense than they would in 'real life'?
Why is it (and this is for you 'SecondLifers' out there) do people start saying "Oh, you're so sexy" "Oh, you're so beautiful" when all you can see sometimes is a bunch of textured and 3D-engineered PIXELS? (Yes, cuz most people that go to SecondLife don't really show their 'real' face to others)
Once again, don't take me wrong... As far as the whole online relation thing is concerned... Been there, done that... probably gonna be there again, someday...
...you know what they say, 'never say never'...
I know people who have been at this for months, even YEARS... meeting when they can, making plans to move in with each other, hoping, nurturing their feelings the best they can through text, image and sound broadcast through a global data network...
...boy meets boy, boy meets girl, girl meets girl, all kinds of relations have formed over the internet...
...some work...
...some don't...
...some end up in people hating each other and flaming each other for the rest of time...
...some work for a while until the chance to meet in person presents itself... and then the 'magic' is gone...
...some even destroy lives... marriages... jobs...
Is it the thrill of the unknown?
Is it the intense passion and sexual drive of wanting to be with that person whom is far away?
...why?
...and above all...
...why does it seem to hurt more than a RL relation, when its all over?
...
Feel free to comment... or not...
Teh Gon's Two Cents
Even more simple. People are shallow.
This sums up part of what I was thinking.
One other possibility I'll offer is that online relationships may be 'easier' because we're not faced with the real person. If things get tough or start to turn sour, you switch off your computer or you block the other person. Not that many people nowadays don't seem to be doing this to real-life people anyway... Relationships on the whole seem to be suffering in our age.
people looking to meet people online already have the motivation and mind set to be attracted to someone and to want to be deeper than day to day aquaintances. it's as if, by their mutual goal, they can just skip past all the useless "hi..." bullshit and formality.
what happens after that depends on the peoples' grip on reality and their ability to handle imperfections in themselves and in their object of desire.