Ok guys, here's the skinny thus far.

first, to clarify, I am just ranting about a few things that are grinding my gears. I'm not going to name names, but suffice it to say, there's some drama going on in my life that is really urking me and making multiple lives difficult in regaurds to a certian situation.

anyways, one of my major rants is about the mental health of my girlfriend. her room mates are driving her nuts, and it's fraying her wires very thin. I'm concerned for her well being because of issues going down at her apartment she lives at and weather or not she is going to have a place to stay next month or not. That, and I have just been given a rather rude ultimatum from one of her room mates: clean EVERYTHING of mine out of their apartment (not that there was that much in the first place mind you) and have it out by this Friday (april 23rd) or they will deal with it as they see fit. in regards to that, I have just a few things to say:

1: the computer stuff that I wanted, I no longer desire. as such, all the server rack stuff and the computer equipment minus the game console and the video game paraphinalia I loaned them can go to ARC, where they can get a tax write off for it.

2: I was allready planning to get my stuff out of their apartment anyway, hence why I sent my girlfriend back to their place with a backpack of mine so that some of the stuff can be brought over to my place with relative ease. in regards though to the video game stuff that is mine, IE: my PSX, PSX power cord,, memory cards (if they are over there), controllers, FF8 walk through manual and video games I loaned them are going to come back with me. most likely in said backpack. hence all will be well in that regard.

3: the black bin filled with clock parts and the white bucket of gears, as with the wooden cigar box of misc. parts are coming back with me as well. most likely they will be coming back with me this Wednesday (plus or minus the cigar box of parts if I can find it in their place, hopefully with almost all of the contents intact.).

4: The hookah, shisha and the coals (though probibly sans the coals and shisha due to them most likely having been thrown out allready) as well as my shaving equipment and possibly a couple of my shirts and a pair of PJ's will be coming back with me as well on Wednesday.

in short, her room mates have nothing to worry about with my stuff. I just don't exactly like the tone one of them had when he said it. he could have been a smidgen more pleasant about the situation, and a bit more sociable instead of being grumpy. I dunno. maybe it was just his cold or something. regardless, it's going to be taken care of, so they don't need to worry their heads over it. and yes, for my girlfriend's room mate's sake so not to worry I am going to pull a pocket check before I come down to grab my stuff and take care of things, so they don't need to worry. I will, however, be bringing my walking staff or a cane over because moving those buckets will be murder on my hip and back.

back to my original lines of concern though, my girlfriend and her room mates apartment. (sorry, rants suck, and I tend to jump back and forth when my brain is going a mile a minute.)

I dunno, it just seems to me that everyone in that house is acting surprisingly aggressive and hostile towards each other and towards people who come into their home. it doesn't help that alot of them have just gotten over a cold that I accidentally gave them, and they are feeling craptastic and moody. I'll be the first to admit that her room mates don't exactly see eye to eye to me at the moment, but I still hope that they can put aside their differences against me and try to keep what relationships we had in the past civil. I know that the young woman who is rooming with them now, cunning feline that she is, is still *ponders the word* eh, wary- I guess you could say, of me because of things that happened in her past. Truthfully, I just want her to feel comfortable around me and know that I honestly wouldn't do anything to harm her and that I'm really a nice guy- I just have quirks about me. but seeing as how she and I only have known each other for a relatively short amount of time, it's logical that she is still getting used to me. eh, I digress.

I don't know. is it bad to worry about the woman you love and care for her deeply? is it bad or horrible to want to try to help her out emotionally and be there for her when shit hits the fan and you try to help her out when it feels like you can't even help yourself out? is it a bad thing if you just want people to accept you like your girlfriend does for who you are and know that you try to be there for them in their time of need? I'm serious here folks, I honestly don't have a fucking clue in my C.P.U. as to wtf to do. it feels like all I can do is just sit outside an interrogation room while being shackled to a chair and watch as shit just goes really wrong on the inside of the room. I really do love my girlfriend, and I want to help her out... but at the same time I don't want to drop a depth charge in a tsunami infested pool and watch everything go to hell in a hand basket.

I want to know what to do. I want to know how to get control of the situation so that it can't go south for these people.

not knowing this really makes me feel worried. it's like a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach and a dull rasp that shaves away my emotional support. it gnaws at me, with vorpal fangs, so agonizingly slow and deliberately.