Psychiatrist Visit (Redux.) +VERY BAD Surprise
15 years ago
Don't come off freaked out as you know how I can be normally. Although, sometimes I'm masking things which come from things I will disclose to you. This is honestly true.
Adding more information this time regarding my visit and the diagnoses I got. I finally had my first appointment with a psychiatrist after doing research and deciding to see what issues I had. After some talking, I got my diagnoses and will state what mostly applies to me under them (you can always do some looking up too for yourself, but you can ask me if it relates to me personally):
-Clinical Depression
--I obsess over things I feel guilty of, making me feel bad for an extended period of time.
--I will also feel guilty about things I shouldn't feel guilty of.
--I'm often in a state of detachment.
--I don't enjoy things as much as I used to.
--Some off thing which shouldn't do it could cause me to go into a rage.
--I will stay in a down mood for a long while of course.
-Panic Disorder
--Though I've been able to concentrate with self control, there are occasional times I'd feel I'd lose control, freaking out, perhaps in a scream.
--Following that, the panic attacks make me feel detached from the world.
-Social Anxiety Disorder
--I often feel distressed in social situations. Mainly dreading how I put myself off to others.
--I will often likely humiliate myself in some way or try to act differently to fit in so to get the hoped positive outcome.
--I tend to speak anxiously because of the disorder. Often it's me talking too fast and stammering.
--Here's more detail regarding symptoms I looked to for reference for SAD: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social.....order#Symptoms
I will be taking what's called sertraline because of it. (i.e. Zoloft.) With these mental disorders, it helped me confirm and answer my concerns of why I was the way I was after being and feeling the way I have for many years. I would like to think that these were the cause of me losing what could have been a good ongoing friendship with a certain someone I've liked for a long time and his friends. I acted in a way where I was essentially a fake person since I didn't wish to socially mess up and be judged harshly and sent away. Guess that's where my SAD came in handy. I messed up to the point where I was pretty much booted away for good. I didn't intend it and I would have liked nothing more than to be their friend and support them. Where I stand is neither enemy or friend as much as I would love a second chance since I feel it could work knowing I could willingly be the real me. This has swung around my head for months and I can't forget the regret I have. Seems I was properly diagnosed.
Now you're wondering what the "VERY BAD Surprise" is right? Get this, a certain pharmacy with a "W" in its name messed up on my prescription, BADLY. My prescription and instructions from my psychiatrist were to have a med container of thirty 50 milligram sertraline pills to take every morning after breakfast, which was good for 9 refills, and for the first 14 days I was to cut 7 in half for 25 mg per day until going to the regular dosage when my body was more accommodated, but here's the surprise: even though the paper says "blue" for the pill color and "50 mg" for the pill dosage, as I was going to split the pills, before seeing that on the paper afterwords, I saw by the engraved dosage that I was given yellow 100 mg pills with a container that was to have no refills. Yeah, I could have been fucked up had I not noticed the pharmacy's extreme fuck up. I'll get that fixed tomorrow.
Just finishing this off, please mind both sections of this journal and not just the last thing I said.
Adding more information this time regarding my visit and the diagnoses I got. I finally had my first appointment with a psychiatrist after doing research and deciding to see what issues I had. After some talking, I got my diagnoses and will state what mostly applies to me under them (you can always do some looking up too for yourself, but you can ask me if it relates to me personally):
-Clinical Depression
--I obsess over things I feel guilty of, making me feel bad for an extended period of time.
--I will also feel guilty about things I shouldn't feel guilty of.
--I'm often in a state of detachment.
--I don't enjoy things as much as I used to.
--Some off thing which shouldn't do it could cause me to go into a rage.
--I will stay in a down mood for a long while of course.
-Panic Disorder
--Though I've been able to concentrate with self control, there are occasional times I'd feel I'd lose control, freaking out, perhaps in a scream.
--Following that, the panic attacks make me feel detached from the world.
-Social Anxiety Disorder
--I often feel distressed in social situations. Mainly dreading how I put myself off to others.
--I will often likely humiliate myself in some way or try to act differently to fit in so to get the hoped positive outcome.
--I tend to speak anxiously because of the disorder. Often it's me talking too fast and stammering.
--Here's more detail regarding symptoms I looked to for reference for SAD: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social.....order#Symptoms
I will be taking what's called sertraline because of it. (i.e. Zoloft.) With these mental disorders, it helped me confirm and answer my concerns of why I was the way I was after being and feeling the way I have for many years. I would like to think that these were the cause of me losing what could have been a good ongoing friendship with a certain someone I've liked for a long time and his friends. I acted in a way where I was essentially a fake person since I didn't wish to socially mess up and be judged harshly and sent away. Guess that's where my SAD came in handy. I messed up to the point where I was pretty much booted away for good. I didn't intend it and I would have liked nothing more than to be their friend and support them. Where I stand is neither enemy or friend as much as I would love a second chance since I feel it could work knowing I could willingly be the real me. This has swung around my head for months and I can't forget the regret I have. Seems I was properly diagnosed.
Now you're wondering what the "VERY BAD Surprise" is right? Get this, a certain pharmacy with a "W" in its name messed up on my prescription, BADLY. My prescription and instructions from my psychiatrist were to have a med container of thirty 50 milligram sertraline pills to take every morning after breakfast, which was good for 9 refills, and for the first 14 days I was to cut 7 in half for 25 mg per day until going to the regular dosage when my body was more accommodated, but here's the surprise: even though the paper says "blue" for the pill color and "50 mg" for the pill dosage, as I was going to split the pills, before seeing that on the paper afterwords, I saw by the engraved dosage that I was given yellow 100 mg pills with a container that was to have no refills. Yeah, I could have been fucked up had I not noticed the pharmacy's extreme fuck up. I'll get that fixed tomorrow.
Just finishing this off, please mind both sections of this journal and not just the last thing I said.
I'm always here if you need me. I don't give a fuck about your prior impressions as an extreme cynic. If you need someone to talk to I'm always open.
I hope that the Walgreens here doesn't make a mistake as epic as that with my stuff... I also get stuff for my allergies and asthma from them, and it'd not be pretty if any of them were wrong.