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Top Ten Cartoon Crushes
15 years ago
So there's a meme going around and I'm afraid it's contagious...
NUMBER ONE: The tippy-top! Cutest of the cute, snuggliest of the snuggly. The one and only Miles "Tails" Prower. I would happily spend all of eternity with him in a castle in the forest masturbating one another until we're red in the face and blue in the penis.
2: Rio, from Jem and the Holograms. Chiseled chest, rippling abs, deep eyes, and SO UNDERSTANDING.
3: Frederick Herman Jones. You know. Fred. From Scooby Doo. With that adorable ascot and form fitting top, I have a suspicion that he is as gay for me as I am for him.
4: Klonoa. I actually just thought of him. If I had "met" Klonoa before I "met" Tails, he'd probably be number one.
5: Remy Etienne LeBeau. AKA "Gambit" from Marvel's X-Men. You can grate cheese on his abs. And that French-Cajun accent? Excuse me while I go change underwear...
6: Chris Redfield from Capcom's Resident Evil Series. WAY HOTTER than Leon Kennedy.
7: Leon S Kennedy. On the second thought, this twinky cop can have some affection too.
Okay.. this is getting hard. Let me think...
8: Alcuad Solte. AKA Al Southwell. From Dominion Tank Police. Stop wasting time with that bull-dyke Leona and let me show you how much I love a man in uniform :P
9: Rocket J. Squirrel. A classic. He had an adorable voice and was so good to put up with Bullwinkle's inane nonsense. Plus I guess I have a thing for cute furry boys that can fly even though they shouldn't be able to...
10: I'll give this spot to Sonic the Hedgehog. He's not as cute as Tails, but he's strong-willed, heroic, athletic, plus he really trimmed down in the years between 1995 and 1999...
NUMBER ONE: The tippy-top! Cutest of the cute, snuggliest of the snuggly. The one and only Miles "Tails" Prower. I would happily spend all of eternity with him in a castle in the forest masturbating one another until we're red in the face and blue in the penis.
2: Rio, from Jem and the Holograms. Chiseled chest, rippling abs, deep eyes, and SO UNDERSTANDING.
3: Frederick Herman Jones. You know. Fred. From Scooby Doo. With that adorable ascot and form fitting top, I have a suspicion that he is as gay for me as I am for him.
4: Klonoa. I actually just thought of him. If I had "met" Klonoa before I "met" Tails, he'd probably be number one.
5: Remy Etienne LeBeau. AKA "Gambit" from Marvel's X-Men. You can grate cheese on his abs. And that French-Cajun accent? Excuse me while I go change underwear...
6: Chris Redfield from Capcom's Resident Evil Series. WAY HOTTER than Leon Kennedy.
7: Leon S Kennedy. On the second thought, this twinky cop can have some affection too.
Okay.. this is getting hard. Let me think...
8: Alcuad Solte. AKA Al Southwell. From Dominion Tank Police. Stop wasting time with that bull-dyke Leona and let me show you how much I love a man in uniform :P
9: Rocket J. Squirrel. A classic. He had an adorable voice and was so good to put up with Bullwinkle's inane nonsense. Plus I guess I have a thing for cute furry boys that can fly even though they shouldn't be able to...
10: I'll give this spot to Sonic the Hedgehog. He's not as cute as Tails, but he's strong-willed, heroic, athletic, plus he really trimmed down in the years between 1995 and 1999...
