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15 years ago
General
I don't think anyone's gunna read this, or rather, going to affected by what i type here, But this year has been rather rotten so far
true my life is a lot better than the majority of the worlds population. I have a home to live in, I can go to the shops and so on, But my life lacks substance and meaning. I often find myself wondering whether i should continue to draw or try to pursue some career in art, as I do not find much happiness in it anymore. I haven't for a couple of years now, and Though it prolly is just emotional scarring and a major art block, I don't feel compelled to finish or start anything.
My IRL friends are unreliable and don't seem to give a damn bout anything, but hey, that's Australians for you. Sorry Aussies, i haven't met a decent one of you yet. I've been let down tonight by them. Which might explain my bitter mood.
There is an uncomfortable feeling in the household and I am stuck in it day after day as i fail to find even the most demeaning job. hiring 15 yr olds seems to be the in thing. I'm either too old or too young.
To be honest I have had alot of dreams that now all seem so impossible. a few years ago, i wanted to make animated films, then i went down to concept artist, now i Feel that it would be an impossible task even to get a comic pushed out of this dry soul of mine. I have become so self critical that all satisfaction that comes with finishing something is quickly swallowed up in worry. I feel little love for my creations and ideas. And if i feel more, its short lived and vanquished by my own sick mentality.
I have always been a scared person stuck inside a feeling that wants to rush up and punch life in the face. the two things clash badly and I have made too many mistakes for someone my age. I feel like a 50 year old in a 22 year old body.
But I'm sure many people do.
Sorry to rant, Life just ain't all that great atm.
true my life is a lot better than the majority of the worlds population. I have a home to live in, I can go to the shops and so on, But my life lacks substance and meaning. I often find myself wondering whether i should continue to draw or try to pursue some career in art, as I do not find much happiness in it anymore. I haven't for a couple of years now, and Though it prolly is just emotional scarring and a major art block, I don't feel compelled to finish or start anything.
My IRL friends are unreliable and don't seem to give a damn bout anything, but hey, that's Australians for you. Sorry Aussies, i haven't met a decent one of you yet. I've been let down tonight by them. Which might explain my bitter mood.
There is an uncomfortable feeling in the household and I am stuck in it day after day as i fail to find even the most demeaning job. hiring 15 yr olds seems to be the in thing. I'm either too old or too young.
To be honest I have had alot of dreams that now all seem so impossible. a few years ago, i wanted to make animated films, then i went down to concept artist, now i Feel that it would be an impossible task even to get a comic pushed out of this dry soul of mine. I have become so self critical that all satisfaction that comes with finishing something is quickly swallowed up in worry. I feel little love for my creations and ideas. And if i feel more, its short lived and vanquished by my own sick mentality.
I have always been a scared person stuck inside a feeling that wants to rush up and punch life in the face. the two things clash badly and I have made too many mistakes for someone my age. I feel like a 50 year old in a 22 year old body.
But I'm sure many people do.
Sorry to rant, Life just ain't all that great atm.
