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I can't be cool...
15 years ago
General
... I just can't. It's like that song by Yoko Kanno. OK, no it's not. I'm clearly not that kind of cool anyway.
But yeah. I've been on facebook recently, and no one ever responds to me. I lost all touch with my friends, and stuff. No one reads my little status updates. It's always been though, since I left America. Now I'm coming back, I'm making an effort to reach out, but it's never good enough.
I'm without internet at the moment really, at least when I'm on my own. My reason? Yes, I have a laptop, but my screen is all borked. So, I can't see the Wifi connection thingy.
In anycase, my complaint today is that I don't think I actually leave much an impression in people, close friends or otherwise, and I'm really trying to change that. I know it sounds like I'm just trying to get popular, and you know what? That may be the case, but sometimes it hurts just to be ignored whenever you reach out to someone, near or far.
So, I have a question... well... Am I cool? I dunno. I get older and I think that I'm slowly becoming one of those adults who thinks he's part of the in crowd, but really looks daft. Maybe it's my self-conscience catching up with me, but yeah. Am I cool? Do people actually like me? xD
EDIT: No, I'm not being emo, I'm actually just curious.
I actually don't have many friends since an incident a year ago. An incident I'll explain once I'm safe to explain it. But, since I met my boyfriend, he's been introducing me to people left and right. It's really been fun. I have a lot more support, than I did when I left New York.
As of now... I only have like... 5 close friends back at home. 3 of them, non-furries, but helped me through high school, and dealing with the reception of my sexuality. I do fault myself for disappearing off the face of the earth last year to all my friends in New York, and suddenly reappearing. But there's just so much that happened. From 3 years ago, 'til now. Next journal, I'll explain it.
But yeah. I've been on facebook recently, and no one ever responds to me. I lost all touch with my friends, and stuff. No one reads my little status updates. It's always been though, since I left America. Now I'm coming back, I'm making an effort to reach out, but it's never good enough.
I'm without internet at the moment really, at least when I'm on my own. My reason? Yes, I have a laptop, but my screen is all borked. So, I can't see the Wifi connection thingy.
In anycase, my complaint today is that I don't think I actually leave much an impression in people, close friends or otherwise, and I'm really trying to change that. I know it sounds like I'm just trying to get popular, and you know what? That may be the case, but sometimes it hurts just to be ignored whenever you reach out to someone, near or far.
So, I have a question... well... Am I cool? I dunno. I get older and I think that I'm slowly becoming one of those adults who thinks he's part of the in crowd, but really looks daft. Maybe it's my self-conscience catching up with me, but yeah. Am I cool? Do people actually like me? xD
EDIT: No, I'm not being emo, I'm actually just curious.
I actually don't have many friends since an incident a year ago. An incident I'll explain once I'm safe to explain it. But, since I met my boyfriend, he's been introducing me to people left and right. It's really been fun. I have a lot more support, than I did when I left New York.
As of now... I only have like... 5 close friends back at home. 3 of them, non-furries, but helped me through high school, and dealing with the reception of my sexuality. I do fault myself for disappearing off the face of the earth last year to all my friends in New York, and suddenly reappearing. But there's just so much that happened. From 3 years ago, 'til now. Next journal, I'll explain it.
I mean, I draw for my own enjoyment really, but I stopped thinking of what people thought for me until recently. I became a little more aware of it, I guess.
FUCK YOU ALL t(-.-t)
wors for me :3
Just talk to me! I don't bit-- I don't-... I don't umm... What don't I do? ... REGARDLESS!! Talk to me! I don't mind! I'm just shy!
Sometimes I make volk18 embarrassed with my antics, since I speak and act, the way I write.
Plus your fursona is a panda, so that instantly makes you cool in my book. ;)
I try to be a nice person. Always tried to, but I get stepped over a lot. • w •
So I feel I become part of the background as easily as I can make a scene amongst the friends I'm out with.
M...My fursona. xD Thank you. ^^
Thank you, I'll do my best to not doubt myself as a person.
And there's usually not any notifications on your wall posts anyway.
I don't know you on a personal level, but I think you're cool. You seem like you have a fun, bubbly personality. ^w^
She's trying to be on my good side, and I don't like it. So I leave facebook when that happens.
...
Nu... >w>
I could put a "wise words" about "getting known", but seriously, if you don't go POP as in the meaning "going with the popular stream" and building relationships there, people tend to ignore. Been there, done that, got over with it.
Then we could go from step 0, befriend them, be good with them, reply their status and slowly they will remember you.
Yeah i know, it's about being exist and your existence.
The only time people actually notice me, is if I say something shocking, or revealing about my family like I have a couple times. And I don't want to play at that again.
I used to be known quite well for how I used to bend over backwards to meet people halfway back in high school. No one used me, but somehow everyone knew me.
But we've also had little contact lately too...={
I believe you are going through the same thing i had by the time i met you. And maybe you really are not looking to be cool but just apreciated and cared for.
So, to answer your question:
I do think you are cool, i do think that you are a great person and a good friend (i just hope you think the same about me ^^), and i'm sorry if we haven't talked much lately (as i said i'm still a bit going forward and back with my own thingy there >.<).
I really know what that feels, and just let me assure you, i know that people likes you, and just the way you are ^^. Maybe they are a bit busy with their daily chores and problems and you don't get the responses you expect to have. But that doesn't mean that you are not a great guy ^^ or that people doesn't think about you ^^
Btw, we need to talk about this someday, i haven't seen you online but ping me if you happen to log in msn and see me. I promise i'll respond ^^
Cheer up pls ^^ and hope to talk to you soon ^^
*Smiles and waves*
Thank you for the compliment Vix. I haven't been able to reach out to people so much on MSN as much as people reach out to me. If you message me I'll be responsive, hopefully if I'm not AFK doing something. xD
No srsly, thank you very much... ;^ ;
What state you live in, pal?
And thank you very much for the compliment. I really do appreciate it.
I've just been so busy... Everything's piling on me, I'm actually not sure about what I'm doing until this gets done... Even then I have so much to do... I'm sorry for being so unresponsive.
I adore you Alto.
I'm torn.
I'll do what I can for you.
I would hang out with you and enjoy your subtle coolness.
It's always the guy in the back you hardly notice, not the guy that's jumping around grabbing attention, that is the coolest.
Subtle coolness.
Thank you very much. ^^
I am sometimes the guy who's jumping around for attention though. Although... I do stupid things in public. xD It's quite funny.
One time in public, Taco bell, they have oddly placed benches. This Preacherguy was going around, rambilling pretty badly at everyone and interupting their ability to eat, which is...rude. He was standing at the drink machine, I Squatted on the bench, so it looked like I was standing normally. When he turned around I raised up with my arms extended, and yelled in a demonic voice PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DOOOOOM
He fell over himself backwards
The manager was laughing so hard she couldn't scold me
Well this depends on yer definition of "cool" - if what you define as cool is "some suave-ass looking motherfucker who tips his sunglasses at you in approval to let you know there may be hope for your being cool yet, and leaves his party to swagger to his computer go accept his 'most friends on facebook' award, then no, you are not cool. You are squeaky and dorky and just a little bit silly. Its like Chiyo-chan worrying about being Miss Sakaki in here.
BUT!
If yer basing how cool you are by what I think about you - that yer a loving, devoted friend with tons of creative energy, are kind and insightful, and are an amazingly fun person to hang out with who *I personally* miss and can't wait to hang out with again - you better fuckin believe yer cool.
Seriously seb.
This shit's more real than Kraft Mayo.
Also don't worry about it nobody responds to my posts on Facebook either.
I really do hope I get to hang out with you in the summer. It'll be a shame if I don't.
(Wait... Kraft Mayo... I gotta work this out in my head. xD)