God, last week really was the Week from Hell D:

1. A woman's check was declined (our machines treat the checks like debit cards), with the usual "No Funds Left" Message:

Disgruntled Customer: What do you mean I don't have any money? I still have all of these checks! *opens up check book and shows off blank checks*

Apparently, that shit just grows on trees now...


2. I hate summer sales...

Me: Hi, can I help you find something?

Customer: Yes, actually. You have this item that I want, but it looks like it’s been damaged.

*Lifts up a 10'x30' inflatable pool that’s currently on sale. She pointed out a small tear in the box*

Customer: Would you happen to have any more?

Me: Sure, I can check for you. *checks stockroom* No, I’m sorry, it appears that you have the last one.

Customer: *angry* Why don’t you have any more!?

Me: Well, it’s a great sale, so we’ve had a lot of people come in today to purchase it.

Customer: Yes, but it’s ON SALE. That means that it should be IN STOCK.

Me: Ma’am, I’m sorry, but since it’s on sale, we’ve had a lot of people come in today to purchase it. The one that you have right now is still in good shape. The only problem with it is not the product, but the box itself.

Customer: This is false advertising! Your ad said you had these, but you don’t! WHY!?

Me: Because if we had every on sale item overstocked to meet demand, our storage room would be impossible to walk around in...

Customer: Fine, be a smart ass. I still want one from here either way. Call the Rite Aid in Youngstown to drive one here so I can purchase it.

Me: … Excuse me?

Customer: Call Youngstown…and tell them to bring me one…

Me: I... I can't DO that -_-'

Customer: Why the HELL not!?

Me: Because… I don’t think the Youngstown Rite Aid, currently busy handling their own sales…would be very happy to have to get your item, drive 20 minutes, waste gas, and then deliver said item to you while you’re already holding said item in hand…

Customer: THIS. IS. RIDICULOUS!

Me: We agree then.

Customer: *Infuriated* I am NEVER coming to this STUPID FUCKING STORE AGAIN! I’M GOING TO WALMART!

Me: 0_o

(Lady storms off.)


3. We restocked on inflatable pools for sales this week.

Customer: What size is this pool?

Me: *examines label* 10'x30'

Customer: So how big is that?

Me: In meters? It’s…

Customer: No, in feet.

Me: It’s ten feet by thirty feet.

Customer: Okay. And what color is it?

Me: Blue.

Customer: Right…and would it look good in my backyard?

Me: I don’t know…I’ve never seen your backyard.

Customer: No, I guess you haven’t. Do you think I have room for it?

Me: ?@#!


4. There's this hippie lady that comes into the store every now and then… She has this crazed out look and talks in this very airy voice. She came up to register with a large pile of towels and turns to the lady standing behind her.

Customer: Wow! I love your purse! It would go with my shiny blue shoes, and my black jacket, and those cute Capri pants in my closet!

Other Customer: Uh…thanks?

Customer: *turns to me* You know, I have to keep changing the bathroom colors. I like the spring colors, but you know, Angel keeps peeling the paint off of the wall behind the toilet so I keep telling her Uncle Rico is going to have to repaint the bathroom if she keeps doing that…

Me: Okay… well, I hope you enjoy your towels. *hands her the receipt* Thank you and have a nice day.

Customer: *eyes grow wide as she sprawls the receipt out* WOW! This receipt is so…LONG! Its so…BIG! And there are so many ITEMS on it!

(She continued to stand at my register fawning over the length of the receipt for a good 5 minutes before she left.)


5. We sell digital Weight Watcher scales.

Elderly Female: I didn’t know they had digital scales.

Me: *rings through scale* Yup, they’re pretty cool.

Elderly Female: Are they accurate?

Me: I believe so, they measure to one decimal place too so it’s more accurate to read than a normal scale.

Elderly Female: Oh that’s so lovely! I’m going to go home now and weigh myself naked!

Me: *bad image*


6. I'm still trying to grasp what exactly happened here...

Customer: “CRAKKAS STINK! THIS STORE STINKS! CRAKKA STORE STINKS!”

Me: *blink blink*

Customer: GOOD LORD IT STINKS! SHE GOT TANGLY HAIR, I BET IT STINKS!

Women with him: Shut up! Shut up! I’m sorry, he doesn’t... SHUT UP!

Me: *blink blink*

Customer: STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANK!


7. We had windchimes on sale the past couple of weeks, and there's an electronic display that makes the spinny chimes work.

Customer: Hi, I would like to purchase one of these… *points to the windchime set* …but there aren’t anymore underneath it. Where are the others stored?

I look over to the windchime rack and see we are sold out of the kind that they want.

Me: I’m sorry, it appears we are sold out.

Customer: Oh, well then I’ll just take this one! *points to the display unit*

Me: Oh, that’s just a display unit. That one isn’t for sale.

Customer: Why not?

Me: Well, this is one of those specific items that we are given a temporary display unit of from the vendor, that we have to send back at the end of the season.

Customer: So why can’t I buy it?

Me: Well, it’s not ours to sell. It is rented from the people who made the set.

Customer: I still don’t understand why I can’t buy it!

Me: It does not belong to us. We cannot sell what does not belong to us.

Customer: Why not?

Me: *sly grin* …what kind of car do you drive?

Customer: A 2000 Focus, why?

Me, to a passing customer: Sir, would you like to buy a 2000 Focus?

Customer: What are you doing?

Me: Selling your car.

Customer: Why? It’s MY car!

Me: Well, I didn’t think ownership made a difference to you.


To conclude, I'm fairly certain I'm responsible for a lot of customers not returning to Rite Aid :D