So lately I've been pretty much a complete dick to everyone of my friends. First off I would like to offer my sincerest apology because I truly do not deserve friends as wonderful as all of you. Secondly I feel as though you all deserve an explanation not some excuse. I've just been under so much pressure and stress that I can not even keep food down anymore so I've just stopped trying to eat all together. I just can't take my father anymore nor all the things that come along with my family. I'm constantly judged by them and it just kills my self confidence and I guess I'm taking all the hostility that I can't take out on them onto you. Like I said this is not an excuse just an explanation because there is no excuse for what a dick I've been. There is no need for behavior like mine because I have been acting like a damn child. I hope you all can forgive me because I promise you that this will stop because without all my friends I honestly probably wouldn't be here. You guys are really the only reason I have to carry on anymore. Maybe I'm just not tough skinned enough like my father says, but emotionally I'm the worlds biggest fuck up and I can't do anything right when it comes to my friendships and relationships in general. So I will say it again. I'm so sorry and you guys are really all I have anymore so I can't lose that. If I start this shit up again please tell me so I can stop myself before I get this way ever again because when I get this way I don't think as rationally as I'd like and I fuck things up. So quick re-cap I'm an asshole, I'm sorry, I'll stop being one, oodles of stress, tell me if I'm being an ass. That about sums it up.