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I even get drama at WORK...
15 years ago
People are just fan-fucking-tastic.
Seriously.
There's this one manager at Rite Aid. Her name is Nicole, more commonly referred to as NJ.
She's a couple years older than me, she's this mega nice shift supervisor that, due to how our schedules work out, I work with very frequently. I have known her since I began working at Rite Aid in February '09. (Mind you, I was recently re-hired there about a month ago). We're polar opposites, and that's an extreme understatement.
I'm perky and bubbly when I talk to people. She complains when she's around us, not in a bad way, but NJ's... a complainer. She's very sweet to customers though.
I love tattoos and piercings. I'm attracted to people with tattoos and piercings. I want tattoos and piercings, god damnit. Nicole does not like any of the above. That's fine. Whatever floats yer boat, lady.
I'm a smartass. I'm sarcastic. I like to make jokes, sometimes suggestive jokes. However, I'm always professional when handling a customer. Always. Nicole doesn't joke much.
I'm vegan. I don't see what the big dealio is. Nicole gave me the World's Biggest Eyeroll when I first told her. It wasn't like I was bragging about it. I just politely declined to have a piece of cake she offered one day and explained I couldn't eat it.
NJ is an angel in everyone's eyes. I even liked her. No problems with her at all. That is, before I was re-hired.
I had a hunch she didn't like me so much anymore. What changed?
I frequently discuss with a couple of the girls there all my plans for tattoos and piercings, it's just something I enjoy and they're often curious about anyway.
Even if I'm in a bad mood one day, and my coworkers know it, I am always nice to the customers. I even try to retain my perkiness and positive attitude. I mean, that's my JOB. To give people the warm fuzzies.
One of my best friends, Dani, also works with me. She came over Saturday night for a couple drinks and just to hang out for a bit. We're just talking about work a bit, when we go into talk about the managers.
Me: I don't think Nicole likes me that much :\
Dani: *stops chattering and eyeballs me* Chel... she DOES NOT like you. At all.
Me: *heart sinks* I kinda had a feeling...
So that's fine. I was always able to work with Nicole just fine, even pretty much knowing that she disliked me. I didn't think it was this bad though:
Dani: She talks about you a lot... *guilty look*
Me: Is-... about-... why? What about?
Dani: Well, you didn't hear any of this from me, okay?
Me: *braces myself for gut-wrenching self-esteem crushing*
Dani: Well, you annoy her. I don't know why-
Me: I hardly talk to her!
Dani: She says you're a slut. She legit thinks you are an absolute whore.
Mind you, I've had sex with three guys in my whole life. Two of those guys were serious relationships, including my current boyfriend. And I was almost 18 before I lost my virginity.
Me: I have never said ANYTHING to her about my sex life!
Dani: I know... I told her that your sex life was your business... she kept on going though.
Me: *plays with ear* (I do that when I'm upset)
Dani: She thinks you're stupid. She also thinks you're a total ditz, and I guess it really pisses her off.
I am a bit of a ditz. I'm also extremely absent-minded. But I will tell you right now, make no mistake, I am NOT stupid, by any means.
So we talk back and forth for a bit, me hopelessly trying to defend myself to Dani, Dani trying to assure me that she still loves me just the same. So that's fine... Dani leaves and I just go to bed. I lay there for about an hour just thinking... thinking... thinking... that shit was weighing on me way more than it should have. It got worse.
I was Facebooking after working the morning shift yesterday (good ol' Mondays). That day, I wasn't myself at all. I just stayed quiet, I was defensive over nothing, and I just plain felt crushed. Dani messaged me (she closed with NJ that night):
Dani: So it's official Chels... NJ hates you :(
Me: ... why! I have never said ANYTHING to her. I didn't do ANYTHING!
Dani: I know, and I don't know what got her going! She asked me about my weekend and I just mentioned stopping at your house, and she started going on a rant about you.
Me: *stares at screen in awe* Why...
Dani: She says you're lazy and a fake bitch. She says you get your piercings and tattoos because you're attention starved, and you're an idiot for being vegan. I tried explaining to her that you aren't like that at all, but she just kept going :(
Me: I never said anything about her...
Dani: I'm really sorry Chels... I still love you.
Me: *long pause*
Dani: Admittedly, if I hadn't known you all through high school, I wouldn't know what to think of you either. You just have a different personality Chels, but a lot of us still love you for it!
Me: I don't care. I just don't care. As far as I'm concerned, everyone at Rite Aid can go fuck themselves *signs off*
I went to bed again, after ignoring phone calls and texts from Dani. What did the other managers think of me, then? Were they just being nice and tolerating me, too? I always felt so close to them all, that Rite Aid was like a home to me. And now I just felt like shit. It's so hard to crush my self-esteem, and that did it right there. I cried. I bawled like a little girl until I tired myself right out. I have never felt so horrible about myself in my whole life. I'm glad I had today and tomorrow off, or I wouldn't know what to do... I spent my lunch breaks Sunday and Monday just hiding in a little ball wanting to die.
I just want to get out of this place. I want to be with all of my real friends and my boyfriend and people who won't bullshit me like that :(
I have never felt like people hate me so much.
And the worst part of it all is that I have absolutely no fucking clue what I did. None.
Seriously.
There's this one manager at Rite Aid. Her name is Nicole, more commonly referred to as NJ.
She's a couple years older than me, she's this mega nice shift supervisor that, due to how our schedules work out, I work with very frequently. I have known her since I began working at Rite Aid in February '09. (Mind you, I was recently re-hired there about a month ago). We're polar opposites, and that's an extreme understatement.
I'm perky and bubbly when I talk to people. She complains when she's around us, not in a bad way, but NJ's... a complainer. She's very sweet to customers though.
I love tattoos and piercings. I'm attracted to people with tattoos and piercings. I want tattoos and piercings, god damnit. Nicole does not like any of the above. That's fine. Whatever floats yer boat, lady.
I'm a smartass. I'm sarcastic. I like to make jokes, sometimes suggestive jokes. However, I'm always professional when handling a customer. Always. Nicole doesn't joke much.
I'm vegan. I don't see what the big dealio is. Nicole gave me the World's Biggest Eyeroll when I first told her. It wasn't like I was bragging about it. I just politely declined to have a piece of cake she offered one day and explained I couldn't eat it.
NJ is an angel in everyone's eyes. I even liked her. No problems with her at all. That is, before I was re-hired.
I had a hunch she didn't like me so much anymore. What changed?
I frequently discuss with a couple of the girls there all my plans for tattoos and piercings, it's just something I enjoy and they're often curious about anyway.
Even if I'm in a bad mood one day, and my coworkers know it, I am always nice to the customers. I even try to retain my perkiness and positive attitude. I mean, that's my JOB. To give people the warm fuzzies.
One of my best friends, Dani, also works with me. She came over Saturday night for a couple drinks and just to hang out for a bit. We're just talking about work a bit, when we go into talk about the managers.
Me: I don't think Nicole likes me that much :\
Dani: *stops chattering and eyeballs me* Chel... she DOES NOT like you. At all.
Me: *heart sinks* I kinda had a feeling...
So that's fine. I was always able to work with Nicole just fine, even pretty much knowing that she disliked me. I didn't think it was this bad though:
Dani: She talks about you a lot... *guilty look*
Me: Is-... about-... why? What about?
Dani: Well, you didn't hear any of this from me, okay?
Me: *braces myself for gut-wrenching self-esteem crushing*
Dani: Well, you annoy her. I don't know why-
Me: I hardly talk to her!
Dani: She says you're a slut. She legit thinks you are an absolute whore.
Mind you, I've had sex with three guys in my whole life. Two of those guys were serious relationships, including my current boyfriend. And I was almost 18 before I lost my virginity.
Me: I have never said ANYTHING to her about my sex life!
Dani: I know... I told her that your sex life was your business... she kept on going though.
Me: *plays with ear* (I do that when I'm upset)
Dani: She thinks you're stupid. She also thinks you're a total ditz, and I guess it really pisses her off.
I am a bit of a ditz. I'm also extremely absent-minded. But I will tell you right now, make no mistake, I am NOT stupid, by any means.
So we talk back and forth for a bit, me hopelessly trying to defend myself to Dani, Dani trying to assure me that she still loves me just the same. So that's fine... Dani leaves and I just go to bed. I lay there for about an hour just thinking... thinking... thinking... that shit was weighing on me way more than it should have. It got worse.
I was Facebooking after working the morning shift yesterday (good ol' Mondays). That day, I wasn't myself at all. I just stayed quiet, I was defensive over nothing, and I just plain felt crushed. Dani messaged me (she closed with NJ that night):
Dani: So it's official Chels... NJ hates you :(
Me: ... why! I have never said ANYTHING to her. I didn't do ANYTHING!
Dani: I know, and I don't know what got her going! She asked me about my weekend and I just mentioned stopping at your house, and she started going on a rant about you.
Me: *stares at screen in awe* Why...
Dani: She says you're lazy and a fake bitch. She says you get your piercings and tattoos because you're attention starved, and you're an idiot for being vegan. I tried explaining to her that you aren't like that at all, but she just kept going :(
Me: I never said anything about her...
Dani: I'm really sorry Chels... I still love you.
Me: *long pause*
Dani: Admittedly, if I hadn't known you all through high school, I wouldn't know what to think of you either. You just have a different personality Chels, but a lot of us still love you for it!
Me: I don't care. I just don't care. As far as I'm concerned, everyone at Rite Aid can go fuck themselves *signs off*
I went to bed again, after ignoring phone calls and texts from Dani. What did the other managers think of me, then? Were they just being nice and tolerating me, too? I always felt so close to them all, that Rite Aid was like a home to me. And now I just felt like shit. It's so hard to crush my self-esteem, and that did it right there. I cried. I bawled like a little girl until I tired myself right out. I have never felt so horrible about myself in my whole life. I'm glad I had today and tomorrow off, or I wouldn't know what to do... I spent my lunch breaks Sunday and Monday just hiding in a little ball wanting to die.
I just want to get out of this place. I want to be with all of my real friends and my boyfriend and people who won't bullshit me like that :(
I have never felt like people hate me so much.
And the worst part of it all is that I have absolutely no fucking clue what I did. None.
Sometimes people are just close minded and stupid; stuck in a rut that X equals X. Of course, because you have tattoos you're attention starved. *rolls his eyes, and has ink of his own* It's the sign of an idiot when one lets preconceived notions dictate what they think of someone without actually getting to know them, and realistically, I hate to say it, but you can't help stupid people and this person sure seems it. She's probably a super religious nut too*.
In the end, keep your chin up and smile a little. You're unique, your friend admitted in other words, and that's something to be pleased with. Who gives a shit what people think about you as long as you make yourself happy and your significant other is happy too. I'm sure he'd be saying much the same thing. NJ can fuck herself. In the end, she's real, real small potatoes and it's not really worth destroying yourself over.
Why base your self esteem on what an idiot says?
Chin up, chest out, deep breath, remind yourself you're awesome and soldier on.
Perhaps look for a potential new workplace, though.
*: I have no problems with religious people, just those that force it on you.
Seriously though, fuck her and the horse she rode in on. If she wants to live her life that closed minded then let her enjoy her little bubble, because one day the world will come crashing down and pop it for her, I can promise you that. I also agree with blue in that it may be time to look for a new job, as much as you may have enjoyed your current one. You wanted to start tattooing right? Maybe you can find a local shop that is looking for a receptionist, its a good way to get your foot in your door, and hell, they might even give you some lessons (plus you wont have to buy your own equipment that way)!
Long story short, there's always going to people out there that will dislike you for what seems like no reason, you just have hold your head up high and keep on movin. I hope you feel better soon! Maybe your bracelet will cheer you up when you get it.
The only reason I say look for a new job isn't even what happened ... it's that it'll be hard to get any breaks or advancement with that stupid ho over you.
Still, I don't know why it bothers me now. I knew she didn't like me, but I guess hearing what she said was really a downer :\
And now my trust towards my other managers and associates has gone down the toilet, because for all I know they could be going behind my back as well.
Still, I suppose I'm going to have to just suck it up for these last few months, I just wish things didn't have to be like this...