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I'm Gonna Head Butt Ya! I'm Gonna Head Butt Ya!
15 years ago
General
As pertaining to this afternoon's journal, by popular demand there shall be a synopsis page.
And now an update on the war against free speech! Think this is another rant about America? Think again! It's about Sweden. That's right, old timers, the country that brought us VCL is under attack! By goats! Or people that think they're goats.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100512.....rophet_drawing
I don't often talk about Islam. I lived in Islamic countries for about 8 years, but never once read the Qur'an in all that time. I'm not an expert on the faith, so my opinions about Islam, favorable or not, aren't worth much. However, I think I know a thing or two about human anatomy, and after a brief and cursory study of the differences between the human skull and the skulls of animals who solve their problems through head butting, say, goats, I can conclude that we are at a crucial branching off point in our evolution as a species. That is, of course, supposing that you believe in the theory of evolution.
The problem with the human skull is that it is ill equipped for a good, old fashioned head butt. The frontal bone is thin and too vertical, and the nasal bone sticks out at an inconvenient angle, constantly becoming dislodged in the act of slamming it into another person's face. The design flaw of the nasal bone is no small matter- if the nasal bone is struck with enough force, it can slide into the brain, creating terrible discomfort and stuffiness. And death. Additionally, the way the skull connects to the cervical vertebrae is much better designed for stability and forcing the skull into a perpendicular position in relation to the spine, an unusual angle for most mammals but an inevitable byproduct of our bipedal lifestyle.
By comparison the skull of a goat is ideally evolved for head butting. The bones at the front of the skull are thick and fused together, and the spine is perfectly aligned with the animal's forehead, allowing the entire animal to absorb the tremendous impact of a head butting without risking spinal injury. True, the cost of this skull shape is raw brain power, but this is of little concern to goats, who have successfully been doing goat things for many millenia on this basic platform.
The human skull is a bit of an awkward fit because most mammals don't have to worry about dealing with big brains. Our bodies give up a lot of durability so that we might have the luxuries of abstract thought (such as symbols, language, art, etc.), memory, and incredibly complex social structures. Though our skulls are poorly designed for certain activities, like head butting, they help give us the ability to shape our behaviors and surroundings to suit our physiology. For instance, soccer/football involves head butting things on occasion, but our brains have enabled us to create a light enough ball to make this a quite safe endeavor.
However, there are those among us who don't fully appreciate the virtues and shortcomings of our anatomy. This is an understandable, if uniquely human behavior. We are the only animals (we know) that wish we were other animals. However, there is a difference between wishing we were other animals and actually trying to act like them. Such is the matter of the irate Islamic fundamentalists who, for some reason, feel that the most intellectual and effective way to argue with a public speaker on the podium is to head butt him into submission.
Alas, we are poorly designed for this. The true tragedy is not that people resort to violence in places of civil discourse. The tragedy is that these people are so physiologically ill-suited to voice their displeasure. They would love to settle their disputes through non-intellectual means, a simple head butting, but they cannot do so safely. So what to do?
Here's the plan. The science is there, albeit experimental, and the blueprints already exist in abundance. Those of us who are not so mentally blessed should not have to suffer through an existence where disputes are settled through dialogue alone. Therefore, I propose that individuals who wish to adopt the favorable skull morphology of goats should be able to. With thicker, better insulated skulls and menacing horns there will be greatly reduced threat of serious injury upon assaulting your fellows for having personal opinions.
Though you may not guess it, the option to have a goat head would also be a blessing for us 'eggheads', as it would provide immediate physiological proof about how our fellow humans/goatpeople prefer to settle everyday disputes. No longer will you have to look at someone on the subway, or on campus, or at work and wonder 'is this guy gonna head butt me?'
It will be instantly clear.
There may be repercussions to changing the morphology of the human skull, a skull that has served us well for about a million years, but it's terribly selfish of us to promote our current skull shape over all other options. Many people died on many continents fighting for the public's right to free speech. Many people continue to die trying to bring this basic virtue to the far reaches of the world. Unfortunately, there are individuals all over the globe who believe that freedom of speech is meaningless because other people have it. For centuries the only option these people have had has been the long, painful process called 'coping'. Now that we have the ability to give these individuals skulls better suited to them, why not give them the option?
And now an update on the war against free speech! Think this is another rant about America? Think again! It's about Sweden. That's right, old timers, the country that brought us VCL is under attack! By goats! Or people that think they're goats.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100512.....rophet_drawing
I don't often talk about Islam. I lived in Islamic countries for about 8 years, but never once read the Qur'an in all that time. I'm not an expert on the faith, so my opinions about Islam, favorable or not, aren't worth much. However, I think I know a thing or two about human anatomy, and after a brief and cursory study of the differences between the human skull and the skulls of animals who solve their problems through head butting, say, goats, I can conclude that we are at a crucial branching off point in our evolution as a species. That is, of course, supposing that you believe in the theory of evolution.
The problem with the human skull is that it is ill equipped for a good, old fashioned head butt. The frontal bone is thin and too vertical, and the nasal bone sticks out at an inconvenient angle, constantly becoming dislodged in the act of slamming it into another person's face. The design flaw of the nasal bone is no small matter- if the nasal bone is struck with enough force, it can slide into the brain, creating terrible discomfort and stuffiness. And death. Additionally, the way the skull connects to the cervical vertebrae is much better designed for stability and forcing the skull into a perpendicular position in relation to the spine, an unusual angle for most mammals but an inevitable byproduct of our bipedal lifestyle.
By comparison the skull of a goat is ideally evolved for head butting. The bones at the front of the skull are thick and fused together, and the spine is perfectly aligned with the animal's forehead, allowing the entire animal to absorb the tremendous impact of a head butting without risking spinal injury. True, the cost of this skull shape is raw brain power, but this is of little concern to goats, who have successfully been doing goat things for many millenia on this basic platform.
The human skull is a bit of an awkward fit because most mammals don't have to worry about dealing with big brains. Our bodies give up a lot of durability so that we might have the luxuries of abstract thought (such as symbols, language, art, etc.), memory, and incredibly complex social structures. Though our skulls are poorly designed for certain activities, like head butting, they help give us the ability to shape our behaviors and surroundings to suit our physiology. For instance, soccer/football involves head butting things on occasion, but our brains have enabled us to create a light enough ball to make this a quite safe endeavor.
However, there are those among us who don't fully appreciate the virtues and shortcomings of our anatomy. This is an understandable, if uniquely human behavior. We are the only animals (we know) that wish we were other animals. However, there is a difference between wishing we were other animals and actually trying to act like them. Such is the matter of the irate Islamic fundamentalists who, for some reason, feel that the most intellectual and effective way to argue with a public speaker on the podium is to head butt him into submission.
Alas, we are poorly designed for this. The true tragedy is not that people resort to violence in places of civil discourse. The tragedy is that these people are so physiologically ill-suited to voice their displeasure. They would love to settle their disputes through non-intellectual means, a simple head butting, but they cannot do so safely. So what to do?
Here's the plan. The science is there, albeit experimental, and the blueprints already exist in abundance. Those of us who are not so mentally blessed should not have to suffer through an existence where disputes are settled through dialogue alone. Therefore, I propose that individuals who wish to adopt the favorable skull morphology of goats should be able to. With thicker, better insulated skulls and menacing horns there will be greatly reduced threat of serious injury upon assaulting your fellows for having personal opinions.
Though you may not guess it, the option to have a goat head would also be a blessing for us 'eggheads', as it would provide immediate physiological proof about how our fellow humans/goatpeople prefer to settle everyday disputes. No longer will you have to look at someone on the subway, or on campus, or at work and wonder 'is this guy gonna head butt me?'
It will be instantly clear.
There may be repercussions to changing the morphology of the human skull, a skull that has served us well for about a million years, but it's terribly selfish of us to promote our current skull shape over all other options. Many people died on many continents fighting for the public's right to free speech. Many people continue to die trying to bring this basic virtue to the far reaches of the world. Unfortunately, there are individuals all over the globe who believe that freedom of speech is meaningless because other people have it. For centuries the only option these people have had has been the long, painful process called 'coping'. Now that we have the ability to give these individuals skulls better suited to them, why not give them the option?
Let them be goat-people! There should be a petition.