tl;dr version below...

I just don't get it...

I keep trying so hard to be calm and not angry...
To be kindhearted and loving...Why does it hurt so much?

...I wish that someone would feel pained for me one day...I wish someone would cry actual tears for me...I'm sad because...

Even though people are millions of miles away from me, I can't feel the emotions they put through...no, that's not it.

I'm sad because I have no one to share my own emotions with. Love...is painful...and all I can do right now is let the tears flow. I should have never looked at the profile that I saw...because now I realize that I was only covering for what I lacked...

And while our separation was for the best...I find that there is no one to hold me...and that I can hold back. But why him...? Of all damn people...why is this person a male and why him?

And even worst, why here? Why is it...I can't find anyone online or off? What am I doing wrong? ...So the damn liers and so-called NICE people get some type of emotion but I can't...? *sigh* I'm hurt...and I don't know what to do now...but sleep.

TL;DR version:
I'm sad because I have no one to share my love with. I want someone but right now, there is not one person in this world that can match up with me. I looked at a former friend's page and saw that no matter what happens, this deluded world of his on FA is his realm and he has found his place and love while I have not. ...What do I do now?