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I should be happy, shouldn't I?
18 years ago
Yeah, good question. I finally got a job, or better two. I can earn over 400 € each month but I will only get around 350 € because everything above it will get the damn employment center. Why? Long story. You have to live here to understand it. Or at least know it. You will never understand it. Nor I do. So, that's sounds good, right?
But I'm still not happy. I have to get up in the morning at 6 am and than I work from 7 to 8 am at the one job, monday till saturday. Not much I know. But I have to work 19- 23 hours more a week. So, in one week I have to work on monday, tuesday and saturday evening and in the next week I have to work thursday, friday and sunnday evening too. Than again monday, tuesday and saturday and so on. When I work on monday, tuesday, thursday or friday I have former worked from 2 pm to 7 pm (now from 1 pm to 8 pm) and when I have to work on the weekend I work from 10 am to 7 or 8 pm. As I began with the second job I had to work 19 hours a week, so I would earn 380 € per month, but know I have to work at least 23 hours a week and in the summer vacations I have to work even more. But as I said, I won't see the everything above 350 €. Ok, now some of you may ask why I still have the job in the morning when I already earn 380+ € with the other job? I still have the other job because the job in the evening is only seasonal. (reason: I work as a cashier at an open air bath). Maybe till september or october. And the second reason why I keep the job in the morning is because of bad wether I maybe earn less then 380 € in on month.
On some days I go to bed at 9 pm, get up at 6 am, work from 7 to 8, go back home, and than I'm often tired again, because I can hardly stand this hot and sticky wether, so I go back and sleep till 12 and than I get up again and go to work till 8 pm. When I am home again I'm again tired and I really hate this job as a cashier. I have problems with other human beings so it's really hard for me. So I go back to bed at 9 pm. Not funny. And on saturday it's even more stressful.
Since three weeks I try to draw again, but there is nothing. I just doodle something but everything I make looks like crap. I have some older pieces I will upload bit there is nothing more atm. I have to make so many coms, but I'm so tired. And with all the work, the damn heat and weariness I don't know if I can find the time and strength to make my damn high school diploma via distant learing. I'm so tired. *sigh*
Enogh for the moment. Sorry for writing so many crap.
I try to answer all the comments in my message center.
And thanks for all your comments on my last journal.
But I'm still not happy. I have to get up in the morning at 6 am and than I work from 7 to 8 am at the one job, monday till saturday. Not much I know. But I have to work 19- 23 hours more a week. So, in one week I have to work on monday, tuesday and saturday evening and in the next week I have to work thursday, friday and sunnday evening too. Than again monday, tuesday and saturday and so on. When I work on monday, tuesday, thursday or friday I have former worked from 2 pm to 7 pm (now from 1 pm to 8 pm) and when I have to work on the weekend I work from 10 am to 7 or 8 pm. As I began with the second job I had to work 19 hours a week, so I would earn 380 € per month, but know I have to work at least 23 hours a week and in the summer vacations I have to work even more. But as I said, I won't see the everything above 350 €. Ok, now some of you may ask why I still have the job in the morning when I already earn 380+ € with the other job? I still have the other job because the job in the evening is only seasonal. (reason: I work as a cashier at an open air bath). Maybe till september or october. And the second reason why I keep the job in the morning is because of bad wether I maybe earn less then 380 € in on month.
On some days I go to bed at 9 pm, get up at 6 am, work from 7 to 8, go back home, and than I'm often tired again, because I can hardly stand this hot and sticky wether, so I go back and sleep till 12 and than I get up again and go to work till 8 pm. When I am home again I'm again tired and I really hate this job as a cashier. I have problems with other human beings so it's really hard for me. So I go back to bed at 9 pm. Not funny. And on saturday it's even more stressful.
Since three weeks I try to draw again, but there is nothing. I just doodle something but everything I make looks like crap. I have some older pieces I will upload bit there is nothing more atm. I have to make so many coms, but I'm so tired. And with all the work, the damn heat and weariness I don't know if I can find the time and strength to make my damn high school diploma via distant learing. I'm so tired. *sigh*
Enogh for the moment. Sorry for writing so many crap.
I try to answer all the comments in my message center.
And thanks for all your comments on my last journal.
aber hatten wir eine wahl?
nunja. auch wenn deine jobs saugen, es ist immerhin etwas. ich hab zwar etwas mehr, aber mit einer 38-stunden-woche bleiben mir nur etwas emhr als das doppelte. und ich muß 20-40km fahren, einfach, jeden tag. abhängig davon, wo ich eingesetzt werde.
nein, ich will dich nicht weiter deprimieren. ich will nur daß du weißt, du bist nicht alleim am boden. andere sind auch dort angelangt.
Sometimes you will be lucky and find the job you enjoy most. There will still be disappointments, people you can't stand, etc. A job will never turn out exactly how you want it. Don't expect it to otherwise you will always resent them. Either there wont be enough money, or maybe a few problems, but it is not about focusing on what is wrong with it, but what is right with it. When you can do that, you will be happy, no matter what job you are in. I know it is hard with menial labor jobs, because I hate them myself. I am a cashier and it is never easy to deal with so many people you just wish will go away, but you get money to support your family and those you love, which makes the mundane, piece of crap, work worth it.
Keep your chin up, and if you need to talk or vent, you will always have someone to turn to. Good luck, and the art will come back to you when it is meant to. The muse will not leave if you truly love the art.